


A Series of Emotional Events

by dralexreid



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dralexreid/pseuds/dralexreid
Summary: A series of one-shots circling around Dr Spencer Reid's relationship with Dr Piper Bishop. From academic rivals to friends to lovers and beyond.
Relationships: Dr Spencer Reid/Dr Piper Bishop
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. First Days Suck Ass...Sometimes

New beginnings are always tough on people and moving from Texas to DC was about as hard as one would think. It was as though her boxes were on a conveyor belt, and soon enough, Piper couldn't see the floor of the one-bedroom apartment she'd been renting. She knew once she sold the house in Texas, she'd be more than able to find a house to settle into. With the help of an old college friend, Piper had managed to score a perfectly nice rental. About half the boxes were her collection of history, mythology and poetry books, all ranging from ancient Roman housing to Hemingway, to Platonian philosophy to the Tudor dynasty. Hopefully, once the bookshelf came in, she'd be able to organise everything. But the boxes had become suffocating, which meant when Gideon offered to introduce her to the team, Piper jumped at the chance. She'd met a few members, but not all of them and she remembered each one vividly on her ride to Quantico.

It had been about a week, and Gideon had told her to settle in before coming in to work for him, and Piper had started devouring any and every book she could find on criminal profiling. Theoretically, the job seemed simple. She'd dedicated 4 PhDs to the art of breaking down behavioural patterns. Psychology, as she understood it, was the broadest field one could devote their life to and never once had she regretted it. But as Piper made her way through the building, she felt her body shrink in on itself, a sharp prickle on her neck and she felt her breath quicken until she marched into the elevator, finally being able to breathe deeply as the metal doors closed.

"Wait!" She heard a yell from outside and started punching the open doors button. "Asshole." Piper raised an eyebrow as the doors opened again to reveal Dr Reid almost falling through the doors. Clearly, he had leant his forehead against the elevator doors and Piper held in a laugh as the doctor adjusted himself. "Thanks," he murmured.

"What was that?" Piper deadpanned.

"Thanks," he said, much clearer. "I'm, uh, Dr Reid." Piper nodded.

"I know. I'm the one who spilled coffee on you in Texas," she reminded him and recognition set in his face, a soft 'oh' spilling from his lips. "You know, for the briefest moment I thought heard someone call me an asshole." Spencer licked his lips in a panic.

"No, uh, I think someone fell over...outside."

"And called the floor an asshole?" Piper asked him, a smile playing on her lips.

"I wouldn't know, but, um, people say things they regret when they're angry or personally offended." Piper nodded, curious to see how far Spencer's lies would carry him.

"Or sometimes they'll falsify the truth and manipulate the context in which they said the insult, thus trying to deflect the consequences of their words." Spencer was speechless and Piper held a malignant gleam in her eye. "Dr Bishop," she greeted him before turning to face the silver doors.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "For calling you an asshole, I didn't mean it." Piper finally let out a laugh.

"Don't worry about it," she said, resting her head against the back wall.

"If you, uh, don't mind me asking, what are you doing in DC?"

"Seeing you, obviously," she teased and Spencer dropped his pen to the floor, masking his blush. After he straightened, he continued looking at Piper. "You really don't know, do you?" Piper asked incredulously. Before Spencer could ask her to elaborate, the doors were open and he caught sight of Derek's face.

"Pretty Boy!" Derek yelled excitedly, coming over and swinging an arm around Spencer's neck, much like her own brother did. "Dr Bishop," he greeted easily.

"Agent Morgan," Piper said solemnly.

"Gideon's waiting for you. His cabin's up on the porch, first door on your left.

"Much appreciated," Piper said winningly, leaving the boys to collect their coffee and talk about their weekends. Well, Derek's weekend. Piper took the stairs two at a time before knocking on Agent Jason Gideon's door. The older man swung the door open to sidle past Piper with an abrupt 'follow me'. Piper adjusted the strap of her bag before following quickly, throwing a glance over her shoulder at Derek who simply smiled and shrugged. Gideon didn't bother knocking, simply bursting through another office door.

"Hotch, this is the kid." Piper drew her mouth into a line and waved offhandedly. She looked at the unit chief.

"Hi."

"You're Dr Bishop?"

"I'm-"

"Special Supervisory Agen Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief. I read the nametag," she said, sheepishly, holding her hand out to shake his.

"Right, well, I'd like to interview you all the same, if you don't mind."

"Aaron, there's-"

"Strauss ordered it. I trust your judgement. You need to trust mine." Jason sighed before leaving, closing the door on Piper who stood frozen. Panic rushed through her system and she desperately tried to remember everything she remembered about profiling. "You can relax," Aaron said, gesturing for her to take a seat. "It's just a conversation."

"Somehow, that still stresses me out," Piper muttered as she took the left seat.

"You've met Agent Gideon, Morgan, Jareau and Dr Reid from the Ozona case." Piper yielded no reply. "I'd like you to profile them."

"I'm sorry?"

"I want you to profile them, as best you can." Piper shifted in her seat. "Start with Dr Reid." Piper nodded, taking in a deep breath.

"Dr Reid's a perfectionist," she said slowly. "Especially with his eye for patterns and relationships. The fact that he's so detail-oriented can be a curse and a blessing. It means he's good at his job but he probably struggles in other aspects of his life. He's got a strong moral compass, he's unwaveringly loyal to people he considers family."

"And his flaws?" Piper wrinkled her forehead.

"He can't see the bigger picture. He focuses on the details that other people miss but sometimes doesn't understand the holistic value. He's insecure about his family, which is partly why he's so loyal. He doesn't want to give anyone reason to leave. He's reliant on his intellect so much so that his mind is his identity."

"What about Agent Morgan?"

"Agent Morgan is the source of your team's stability. He's reassuring, easy-going but the minute someone he cares about is in danger, he becomes unstable. He feels an obligation to protect the team from any kind of threat but he doesn't trust people very easily."

"Now, profile me," Hotch directed. Piper was silent for a moment, looking the man up and down.

"You're strong, assertive, self-confident when it comes to the team. You think you have to be the epitome of stoicism and you hate feeling vulnerable. The only time you do feel that way is when it comes to your family." She gestured to the ring on his finger and the photo on his desk. "You want to have complete control over your life and despite knowing that getting help can't hurt, you'll reject anyone who tries to help you. And you hate backseat drivers." 

"I would've asked you for my flaws, but I think you've covered that. Anything else?" Piper narrowed her eyes at him.

"You used to be a lawyer."

"Okay, that's-"

"Relax, I didn't get that from your behaviour." Piper stood up. "I got it from your LinkedIn page," she said, beaming.

"When would you like to start?"

"Whenever you'd like me to."


	2. Taylor Swift Was Onto Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fic based on Taylor Swift's 'tolerate it' || Spencer underestimated Piper and she makes sure to correct his fatal mistake.

Spencer had always been the genius on the team, the one they all turned to. The pressure made him a better agent but it sometimes suffocated him. If anything, Piper's arrival should've eased the pressure on him to be the smartest. Then again, Spencer was never one for a rational reaction to emotional pressures. He wasn't quite sure exactly when it occurred. Perhaps it was their first casual day at work. The Behavioural Analysis Unit wasn't just a jet setting team of hotshot agents. In reality, a lot of their work was based on consultancies and he was a little shaken by how well Piper had adapted to the job. It had started as a friendly competition, one-upping each other in terms of their solve rates. 

It would be inaccurate to say Piper enjoyed the pressure. She was used to being taunted or doubted. She'd been doubted by her teachers when she took AP classes only. She'd proven them wrong with a 4.8 GPA. She'd been doubted by her professors when she'd confessed to wanting a self-paced degree. She'd proven them wrong by getting her bachelor's in psych within the year, then her masters in less than 2. She'd collected PhDs like they were Pokemon, but really she'd enjoyed the challenge. She wasn't afraid of stepping up to the plate when Derek proposed the bet. Whoever completed the least consultancies by the end of the week would have to buy drinks for the team. Both profilers knew that Derek just wanted a free drink but he would live to regret how the 'friendly' rivalry would unfold. Every day that week, Hotch would pack up, ready to head home to his wife and son, only to find his two agents still at work. He was slightly worried but didn't mind. Strauss would only be happier by the end of the week.

But the real problem arose on Thursday. JJ had a case for them in New Hampshire. Someone had been killing men aged between 20 and 40, all in relationships, each case mimicking a suicide. The first had his wrists slit post-mortem, found in a bath with the water still running. Another had been found outside of a building, his head splattered onto the pavement, made to look as though he'd thrown himself off the roof. The most recent victim was found hanging off a rope from his balcony. Each one had been found by their significant other. Derek asked what made JJ think they weren't suicides. She explained quickly how each house had been broken into and a message had been left on a piece of paper pinned to the wall.

> Treat others how you want to be treated.

Piper suggested that perhaps this was a vengeance mission by a woman. Spencer was quick to correct her that female unsubs are rare and that these men only had connections with different women and that one of them was gay. Piper retorted that it didn't have to be a romantic relationship, it could easily be someone distant who had a special interest in these relationships. Hotch managed to intervene before anything went further south. Spencer paired off with Derek while Piper waited for JJ.

On the jet, Derek almost wanted to throw himself off the plane and he was pretty sure Hotch was nursing a headache from Spencer and Piper's bickering.

"There's no record of physical abuse," Spencer said, his throat raw from arguing. "The first victim even went to couple's counselling." JJ honestly wanted to step in and say they should try it but was afraid they'd band together to pick a fight with her.

"Oh, big whoop. Couple's counselling relies on cooperation and compliance. Edward Morton's wife has nothing to her name, no bank account, no insurance, nothing. It's textbook economic abuse."

"Except Amelia Morton has an alibi, or did you not read the file yet?" Piper refused to back down at Spencer's smug response.

"I didn't have to, I called Garcia to check personally," she retorted. "And maybe you're a little hard of hearing because I never actually suggested that Amelia was the killer."

"Right, maybe it was her guardian angel sent from the heavens who looked at her financial statement," Spencer scoffed and JJ physically put her head in her hands.

"Is it that hard to admit that there might be someone who's looking out for the victims?"

"The only victims here are the men that are dead," Spencer argued.

"What are you, 5? This isn't black and white detective work, Dr Reid. This is a personal vendetta, or have you never heard of a civil service murder?"

"I just don't think-"

"No, you just think it was Colonel Mustard in the living room with the candlestick!" Piper shouted and the jet went silent, save for the faint humming of the plane's engines.

"We're landing in a few minutes," Hotch said. "Bishop, I want you to interview the significant others with JJ. Reid, Morgan, go to the crime scene." Piper stood up, moving over to the other side of the jet as she heard Spencer murmur behind her.

"Who's Colonel Mustard?" Derek just chuckled before returning to his file.

* * *

Piper had clearly calmed down, talking to each victim. They all denied any allegation of abuse from their significant others. Carolyn Stevens had been dating Terry Eastwood for no more than 4 months. He was prone to forgetting dates, for prioritising work over her and for being jealous of her friends. He was just overprotective, Carolyn justified. Lucas Carr had spent a year with Cameron Davies and they'd always moved fast as a couple. They'd moved in together within 2 months, had a joint bank account within 5 months and for their 6 month anniversary, Cam had suggested Lucas quit his job to help with the housework. Amelia Morton had married Edward 2 years ago and she'd talked to him about having kids. Edward had refused angrily, not wanting her attention to the house be diverted by kids. But all three defended the men and every time Piper raised her thoughts about an abusive situation, Spencer had shut her down until she'd finally snapped. She'd marched straight over to Hotch, asking respectfully for some leeway to explore another angle. He turned the thought over before granting it on the condition he was to be updated and she would talk to him before taking any kind of action.

While Spencer and Derek focused on the deceased, Piper started working on her angle. She asked Penelope to access their call records and started rewatching her interviews. Within the next half hour, Penelope had faxed over the records. The tech analyst was busy searching for a connection with the deceased males and so Piper was forced to scour through months of call logs, cross-referencing them with regular contact lists. She'd barely made it through 3 months by the time the darkness settled in on New Hampshire, so she appreciated JJ stepping in to help. Unfortunately, JJ wasn’t used to pulling all-nighters, so by about 2 am, she’d fallen fast asleep. Piper folded up her cardigan and gently placed it under JJ’s head. Within the next hour, Piper had moved from the table to the sofa, tucking her feet behind her as she scanned through the call logs. More than ever, she wished Spencer was working with her rather than against her. He’d have gotten through this list within a few hours. She sighed, rubbing her eyes as she reached over for the coffee pot. Her eyes had become itchy, probably from the contacts she’d been wearing. Setting the warmish cup down, she stretched an arm out for her bag and pulled out her lenses kit, gently pulling out each lens and replacing them with a pair of glasses. With a sniff, she settled back down in her seat.

Meanwhile, another man had died, a 34-year-old, named Thomas Greene. His death looked like an attempted pill overdose, except the ME had found a small puncture in the elbow. His wife, Olivia Greene was in the hospital treating a second-degree burn she’d received before the murder. That morning, the team was huddled around the body, save for Piper. She was going through the last of the logs. JJ joked that she might have fallen asleep having spent the night awake, not noticing how Spencer paled. They wrapped up the scene and reconvened at the precinct, only to find JJ’s prediction to have come true. Piper’s glasses were askew, and Spencer felt a strange feeling in his belly as Hotch woke her up. “Did your angle pan out?”

“Um, yeah. Sorry.” She ran a hand through her hair, removing her glasses. “All three of them called the same domestic violence hotline in the last three months. I think they might have all talked to the same person.” Hotch nodded, telling Morgan to get Garcia to get them a list of employees or volunteers who were on call when the abuse victims called them. He asked Piper to go to the hotel and get some sleep. Piper nodded sleepily, shouldering her bag as she rose. Spencer watched her walk away uneasily. He stood still for a minute before making eye contact with Hotch. His boss sighed before nodding and the doctor ran after Piper.

“Piper!” She turned around outside the precinct as Spencer caught up to her.

“What’s up Doc?” she said humourlessly.

“Let me drop you home.”

“I’m good.” Piper made to turn to her car.

“You shouldn’t drive tired,” he blurted out and Piper raised an eyebrow. “More than 90,000 car accidents a year involve drowsy driving. Let me drive you.” Piper blinked slowly.

“You have work to do.”

“Work we wouldn’t know about if you hadn’t followed your instincts.” Piper wrinkled her forehead, trying to figure him out. Sighing, she tossed Spencer the keys and moved to the other side of the car. Spencer opened the driver side door to see Piper with her feet on the dashboard. He started up the car and shoved her feet off. “We’re borrowing this car.” Piper squinted at him but listened anyway as Spencer pulled out of the precinct. Piper drew down the window.

“So, you really don’t know who Colonel Mustard is?”

“Right, rub it in,” he muttered.

“It’s just nice to know that I know something you don’t,” she scoffed, leaning her elbow on the door. She ran a hand through her hair. “He’s a character. From a board game. It’s sort of based on detective fiction. You know, like Agatha Christie, country house mystery stuff. You’d probably ace that too,” Piper said bitterly.

“Look, you were right, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Piper turned to him incredulously.

“No, what I want is for you to have some faith that I might actually know what I’m talking about.”

“Of course, because you’re the only one with a PhD,” he said, switching gears as he turned left.

“Okay, if there’s one thing I know, it’s understanding behaviour. I didn’t study my ass off for those PhDs for you to doubt me with nothing more than a bachelor’s degree in psychology.”

“Well, I didn’t get PhDs in maths, chemistry and engineering for you to think of me as some village idiot.”

“Oh, please, as though my opinion of you holds any value because if it did, you’d take a breath and actually listen to what I say.”

“You can’t expect me to agree with everything you say!” Spencer protested. “If I think you’re wrong, I’m gonna say it.” Piper scoffed.

“Would it kill you to have a little faith in me? And you can express your lack of it in other ways than making me look like an amateur.”

“Believe me, you make it easy,” he scoffed.

“Just because academics is natural to you. You know, some people have to struggle to get what they want. If you haven’t noticed, we’re the same age with practically the same qualifications and fun fact! I got through school without an eidetic memory.”

“Memory doesn’t get you PhDs,” he said condescendingly.

“It gets you through high school a lot quicker, doesn’t it?” she sneered. “You have no idea what it’s like.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Imagine being the most experienced person in the room and being told that your opinion is worthless.”

“Well, it shouldn’t matter what someone thinks about your opinion.”

“Yeah, well, yours does,” she said, her voice quiet but her meaning echoing in the car as it pulled up in front of the hotel. “Thanks for the ride,” she said hollowly. “Let me know what happens. Or don’t, it’s up to you.” She grabbed her bag and slammed the door as she walked into the building. Spencer sat silently in the car, the implications of her words washing over him. Eventually, he shook himself out of his reverie, pulling out of the hotel driveway and making his way back to the station.

By the time he arrived, Derek and Hotch had narrowed down the list to one person. Caitlin Fletcher. She was a licensed therapist whose father was abusive. Back then, if abuse wasn’t physical, the case was often dismissed. It wasn’t until the 90s that psychological abuse was considered in domestic violence allegations. By mid-afternoon, they had the arrest warrant and Garcia tracked down her address. While the three men brought Caitlin Fletcher into custody, JJ picked up Piper from the hotel. The team stood behind the glass, letting Caitlin stew as their boss planned their approach. Spencer glanced over at Piper who looked at Caitlin pitifully.

“Reid, I want you to talk to her.” Spencer licked his lips as Piper glanced back at him, meeting his gaze. A silt question played on his lips and Piper nodded subtly.

“Actually, I think Bishop should take this one.” Hotch mulled it over.

“Okay. Go in.” Piper looked between her boss, her rival and her brother. Derek shot her a thumbs up and Piper sidled past the team and into the interrogation room. Spencer watched with bated breath as Piper took a seat in front of the woman.

“Hi, I’m Piper.”

“Caitlin,” the woman replied as Piper placed four photos side by side. “I didn’t kill them.” Piper put four more photos underneath them.

“You were trying to protect them, weren’t you?”

“I’ve never met those people in my life.”

“No, but you talked to them,” Piper said gently. “You know, I spoke to them. Carolyn was being socially abused. Lucas was being emotionally abused. Amelia was being gaslighted and psychologically tormented by her husband. Olivia was physically abused and burned by her husband. Each of these people called you, didn’t they?”

“I told you, I don’t know any of them.”

“You heard what was happening to them and it reminded you of your father, didn’t it?”

“You don’t know anything about my father.”

“I know that you loved him and that he didn’t care,” Piper said softly. “I know that he made you feel dumb and unimportant. I know you blamed yourself. I know that it took you a long time to realise what was happening and even then, you still blamed yourself.” Caitlin started crying. “I know that when your mother left, you felt alone and trapped. You always felt like you were a waste of time. And I know that it took you a long time to love yourself again. I know how that feels. And I know that even after everything he did to you, you still love him.”

“They needed to be saved,” Caitlin sobbed. “They wouldn’t listen.” Piper stretched out a hand to place on Caitlin’s.

“They still blame themselves. They feel the same way we do. These people you think you saved; they are digging themselves into a pit of guilt.” Caitlin looked up. “They aren’t any freer than before, Caitlin. They’re trapped inside themselves.”

“I was—I was only trying to protect them. I didn’t mean—I didn’t want to hurt them.”

“I know, Caitlin. I know you tried to help them. You did what you thought was right.”

“But I made things worse, didn’t I? Thomas, Thomas was cheating on Olivia. I—She did everything right,” Caitlin broke, and Piper was silent. “She gave everything to Thomas. Lucas was gonna quit his job. He loved that job. He worked hard for that job and he didn’t even…” Caitlin took a deep breath. “Answer me a question and I’ll confess to everything.”

“Yeah?”

“Why do we always love people that hurt us?” Piper’s gaze never left Caitlin’s.

“You know, people are always surprised when I say The Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of my favourite books.”

“What does that have—”

“I’m getting there. It’s part of the answer. It’s a coming-of-age book, came out when I was 18. And this kid in the book, his sister was dating this guy, one that treated her like garbage. And he asked his teacher the same question you did.”

“What did he say?”

“We accept the love we think we deserve,” Piper quoted with a sad smile.

“What’ll happen to me?”

“I don’t know,” Piper answered honestly. “The law is imperfect, but it is the law.”

“And I killed three men.”

“Maybe the jury will side with you, maybe they won’t. But the truth is what it is. It won’t hide.”

“Will things get better for them?” Caitlin glanced down at the pictures. Piper genuinely mulled over the question.

“I hope so,” Piper confessed, and Caitlin took in a deep breath, looking dead straight at the mirror behind Piper.

“I killed Terry Eastwood, Cameron Davies, Edward Morton and Thomas Greene because I believed they were abusing their partners. I don’t regret any of it.” Piper leaned back in her seat, watching as a uniformed officer came into escort Caitlin to a holding cell. She felt hollow as Hotch praised her and as Derek clapped her back and as JJ pressed her into a hug and as the victims thanked her.

* * *

She settled into a seat near the back of the jet, wrapped up in her long cardigan, pulling out the last of her paperwork for the case as she tucked her feet under her. JJ glanced over at Derek worryingly as Spencer rose from his seat to join Piper with his cup of coffee. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Reid, I’m really not in the mood.”

“I know. I just…” He trailed off and Piper refused to make eye contact with him. “I respect you,” he blurted out. “And I would—I never want to—I mean, I was being stupid this morning.” Piper snorted derisively.

“Glad we agree on something,” she scoffed.

“I just, I didn’t mean to make you feel like an idiot,” he said softly, and Piper finally met his gaze. “I think you’re brilliant and dedicated and I… I don’t know what came over me. And if I ever even accidentally make you feel that way again, you can, um…” He struggled to come up with a good punishment.

“Spill hot coffee on your cardigan again?” she proposed wryly, and Spencer chuckled, gazing into his coffee. “You know the work week'll end in about 20 minutes, right?” Piper pointed out, a gleam in her eye, one that Spencer had learned to recognise.

“It’s Friday, isn’t it?” Piper beamed and the two geniuses glanced back at Hotch.

“Hey, chief,” Piper called out. “What’s our solve rate?” Hotch sighed, glancing at his laptop.

“29 cases each, you’re on a tie,” Hotch said, slightly amused.

“So, what about the bet?” Spencer asked.

“Oh, I can answer that,” Piper said, and Spencer groaned. “You’ll be buying a round of drinks because _I_ have already finished my paperwork for this case while you haven’t even started,” Piper said, handing the finished file over to Hotch.

“Wait, how’d you get the time?” JJ asked, incredulously.

“It’s amazing what you can get done by multi-tasking and sacrificing some sleep,” Piper grinned.

“How ‘bout a drink when we land, Pretty Boy?” Derek said, laughing as he held up a hand for Piper to high five.

“Unless he’s a sore loser,” Piper whispered to him as she sat back down.

“You know what, fair play,” Spencer said, smiling. He wasn’t quite sure why he was so happy about losing, but maybe losing to her wasn’t that bad after all.


	3. Poolside Heart-to-Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Piper can't sleep and Spencer notices, so she bares her soul to him || Hurt/No Comfort

It had been a long day for the BAU. Mangled elbows have been turning up all over Lincoln, Nebraska and the inhabitants were terrified. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a pistol, and still, nobody had a clue who the callous killer is. Everyone had noticed how quiet Piper had been the past few days and it seemed that Rossi and Emily were the only ones who knew why. Emily and Piper had been inseparable since they'd met, which made perfect sense, considering they'd joined up within weeks of each other. As for Rossi, he'd become strangely fond of the girl after she'd taken a bullet for him on his first day working with her, literally. No-one was quite sure what they talked about, but Piper and David shared the same cynical humour, finding joy in sarcasm and sardonicism. Both profilers respected the psychologist's privacy, refusing to tell anyone what had happened. JJ's guess was the closest, but their shared trauma compelled her to keep it hidden too. Even Derek and Hotch had their own reservations and it seemed it was only Spencer who had no idea about what was happening with her. Everyone had the same agenda that night, get some sleep, wake up early, and hope to God that there wasn't another mangled elbow to be found.

As Spencer prepared to take a shower, he glanced out his room's window. The hotel structure was U-shaped with a large pool in the middle. A familiar figure sat at the edge of the pool, her trouser hems folded up as she dipped her bare feet into the clear water. He tossed the folded towel onto his bed, rolling up his sleeves as he left his room. "Hey, Pretty Boy, where you headed?" Derek's teasing voice floated through the hallway.

"Just need some air."

"Want me to come along?" Derek offered. He didn't want both his geniuses upset on the same day. One genius a case was enough.

"That's okay. I need to clear my head." Derek nodded, ducking into his own room. Spencer took the stairs two at a time, exiting from the main door quietly before approaching Piper. "Hey. Want some company?" Piper shrugged, playing with her rings and Spencer took it as a yes, taking a seat next to her. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly," she said, splashing the water with her feet. She was quiet for a moment. "Did you know Pythagoras was against suicide? He claimed on mathematical grounds that there was only a finite number of souls in the universe and that the sudden and unexpected departure of one would upset the delicate balance of the world. It's a beautiful concept, isn't it?"

"What's your point?"

"No point," Piper shrugged. "Just making conversation." Spencer nodded, his eyes never leaving her and her eyes never leaving the water. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Anything."

"Tell me about your mom," she asked, her voice cracking slightly as she spoke. Spencer nodded slowly.

"She used to be a professor in medieval literature. Her favourite author was Margery Kempe. She used to read them to me as a kid."

"That sounds nice," Piper admitted distantly.

"What about yours?" A single tear fell into the water.

"She loved history. Absolutely adored it. You know, she knew all these little things. And she didn't care about wars. She loved the things that people used to do. Their little cultural traditions. She used to take me apple-bobbing every Halloween and we used to have sword fights," Piper said, chuckling. "And we'd watch French films every Sunday. And we'd have Waffle Wednesdays and Dad would always stay back a little longer before heading into work. I miss her," she whispered. "I wanna go back and I can't and it kills me that I didn't make the most of what I had with her."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Spencer whispered.

"Because," Piper replied. "I didn't think you'd understand what it's like." Spencer wrinkled his forehead. "JJ's usually the person I'd talk to first. But she's got a lot on her plate already what with-"

"Wait, why wouldn't I understand?"

"Spencer, do you remember the first thing you told me about your mom?" He shook his head. "You told me that you wrote her a letter every day because you feel guilty about not seeing her. And there was a moment where I was so angry about it. I lost my mom, Spence, but you still have yours. And maybe things are tough, but she's there and you can see her and tell her stories. I lost all of it. I lost the apple-bobbing and the sword fights and the waffles. That's why I didn't tell you. Because I thought you were ungrateful for the things you do have."

"I don't have anything, Pipes. My mother has paranoid schizophrenia. My father left me when I was 10. Gideon's gone. Elle's gone. My life is like a revolving door of people and-"

"And through all of that pain and misery, your mom has always been by your side. Don't you get that?" Piper sighed, rubbing her face. "I should get some sleep, we've got work in the morning." Spencer watched her pad away, shoes in hand, as she trod the path he'd taken down, wondering if she was right.


	4. Emotions Are Things That I Do Not Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Spencer doesn't understand why he feels weird about Piper dating someone else.

The team would've had to be blind not to notice Piper's flustered behaviour. It was a quiet day at work with everyone working on their own consults but Piper had been having nervous tics all day. She started tapping her pen on the desk incessantly after their lunch break until Emily grabbed a rubber band and shot it at her before hissing at her to stop as Penelope walked in. Derek snickered before starting to tease the young psychologist. "Our Pied Piper's got a date tonight!" Piper flinched at Penelope's squeal behind her and no-one noticed Spencer pale in his seat.

"Tell me everything!" Piper chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

"It's just a date."

"With Florida Guy?" Penelope shrieked happily.

"Yes, and his name's Andrew, you don't have to keep calling him Florida Guy," Piper snickered.

"So, what's the plan?"

"Well, we were going to commit war crimes but Olive Garden is more socially acceptable," Piper joked. "That and the breadsticks." Eventually, Hotch poked his head out of his office, barking at the team to get back to work. The hours achingly ticked by with each of them getting up at odd times for a cup of coffee on the other side of the bullpen. Derek noticed that Spencer had become edgy, glancing over at Piper on the other end of the office chatting with JJ, as if to check that she was still there. Derek sauntered over, hooking a leg over Spencer's desk.

"What's going on in there, Pretty Ricky?"

"N-Nothing. Why what's up?" Derek shrugged, sipping on his coffee.

"You look edgy. Doesn't he, Em?"

"Yeah, I think he's sweating," Emily followed along.

"He's a little fidgety too, and he keeps glancing over at Bishop over there." The three of them glanced over simultaneously at Piper talking to someone on her cell. "What do you think, Prentiss?"

"I think someone's incredibly nervous and it's not the person who's going on a first date," Emily teased, looking between Piper and Spencer.

"You like her, don't you?" Derek prodded and Spencer spluttered.

“No, I don't! Not in that way. We’re friends- Ew, how did you even come up with that?”

“Yeah, sure, you don’t like them. You loooove them.”

“ _No!”_

“You wanna hold them and tell them how much they mean to you.”

“I do not!”

“You doooo.” Spencer huffed, standing up, frustrated by Derek's antics.

"Morgan, never forget. I am one of few people, in the world, who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence," he said as JJ and Piper approached.

"Did you tell Spencer about Jar Jar Binks again?" Piper asked, chuckling. "You know he hates the prequels." Derek looked over his shoulder, sharing a look with Emily while JJ slipped her cell into her pocket.

"Hey, JJ, you ready to get drinks tonight?" 

"Can't," JJ sighed. "My babysitter cancelled on me."

"I can take Henry if you want," Piper offered unexpectedly and Derek frowned.

"I thought you had a date."

"I did. I rescheduled," Piper said abruptly.

"Well, if you're sure, Pipes. I owe you one." Piper smiled half-heartedly before returning to the last of her paperwork. Slowly, each profiler filed out of the office. JJ and Emily left first to get ready for their night out with Penelope. Then Derek left for his self-defence classes. Then Rossi left for his meeting with his publisher, one that he always complained about. Even Hotch left early to hang out with Jack and once again, Spencer and Piper were the last ones in the office. Piper felt the question in Spencer's head but waited for him to ask it.

"What happened to your date?" he asked, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

"He forgot," she murmured, running a hand through her hair. Spencer didn't need to be a profiler to know that was one of her nervous habits. She slammed her file shut, dumping it onto her done file.

"So, you don't have any plans tonight?" Piper glanced over at him, trying to gauge his tone.

"Babysitting Henry. You?"

"I dunno, maybe commit a war crime?" he tried, hopeful to get a laugh from her, which he did. It was a strong, musical laugh.

"Well, if you get time from your nefarious schemes of killing Derek Morgan, wanna babysit Henry with me?" The smile on her lips didn't do anything to hide the vulnerability in her eyes.

"I'm in."

"Cool."


	5. Why Are We Competing For A Baby's Attention?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Piper and Spencer both compete to be the best babysitter | fluff turns to angst w/o comfort

"If something happens, anything, just call and I can be back," Will said in his thick New Orleans accent.

"We'll be fine," Piper promised. "Won't we, Henry?" Henry cooed, moving to clasp at Piper's necklace. 

"Right, we can handle it, Will," Spencer assured him as Will's partner called out.

"Let's go, Will. Crime isn't stopping for your baby." Will chuckled, pressing a kiss to his son and waving to the duo before leaving.

"I'll order in," Spencer offered.

"Don't get anything with fish," Piper warned, bouncing Henry as she flitted to the sofa. "If you get fish, I will slap you with it so hard you'll start singing Into the Sea from The Little Mermaid."

"Noted, no fish," Spencer muttered. Piper's insults had been getting very creative. By the time he'd placed the orders for the duo, Piper was settled on the couch with Henry leaning against her thighs.

"Where are you going?" Piper murmured to him, laughing as Henry kept turning and sliding off, so much so that Piper had now lain a hand to her side, catching his head every time he fell over before settling him back. "No, don't. Your head is too heavy," she giggled. "Just sit there, don't and you're sliding again."

"It's scientifically impossible for him to do," Spencer announced. "His head isn't in proportion to the rest of his body so it can't handle the weight of his head. It's why he keeps sliding..." Spencer paused as Henry slipped over into Piper's hand again. "Over."

"So that's why they always lie down. And I thought Lucy was just lazy," Piper joked.

"Alright, give me the baby before you break him," Spencer sighed, holding his arms out for Henry and Piper gave him up reluctantly. "By the way, how do we know if he's hungry?" Piper laughed.

"I thought you were a profiler. Don't you know the signs?"

"I know when an adult is hungry, I don't know when a baby's hungry. It doesn't exactly come up in psych 101."

"That's why you do more than a bachelor's in psych," she teased.

"Are you ever going to let go of that?"

"Nope," Piper said, her voice floating from the kitchen. "Oh, have you seen those baby experiments? They're so much fun."

"Is that why you pursued child psychology, to have fun with babies?"

"No, clearly I was trying to raise a child army but it didn't working," she scoffed, returning with Henry's bottle and a pack of Pringles for Spencer. Henry turned his head, shrieking happily and practically lunging out of Spencer's arms.

"I don't know, he seems to like the idea," Spencer chuckled as Piper flopped onto the couch. Henry crawled over to her.

"What do you think, Henry? Should we take over the world?" Piper cooed as he tried to grasp his bottle when the doorbell rang. "I got it," she announced, pressing a kiss to Henry's head before climbing over the couch.

"Right, because what are feet for?" Spencer murmured.

"Do you want your food or not?" Piper thanked the delivery man, passing him his bills and freeing him of the food. By the time she'd turned around, Spencer had fitted the now-empty can of Pringles in his mouth and launched it skyward, making Henry burst into a giggling fit as he fell over on the couch laughing. "Oh, it's on," she whispered.

* * *

Spencer gathered up the empty takeaway boxes ready to throw them out and by the time he arrived, Piper had turned on a baseball game and was commenting with Henry in tow. "Don't tell me they haven't won in 54 years. I know that."

"Mahwadaralbaba!" Henry babbled.

"I'm telling you this is their year."

"Bagadadabamada!"

"Oh, how dare you!" Henry shrieked happily as Spencer narrowed his eyes, especially at Piper's smirk.

"C'mon Henry, time for your bath."

"Spoilsport!" Piper yelled as the two disappeared. "It's only 8."

"He's 7 months old. Sleep is vital," Spencer's voice countered as he took the little one to the bathroom.

"Touché, Dr Reid," Piper scoffed, turning her head to the screen only to shriek at an incredible catch-out. She sat, fixated on the game until Spencer's yell broke her attention from the pitcher.

"Piper, he's drowning!" She flung herself off the couch and into the bathroom to help.

* * *

It wasn't until ten that Henry was ready for bed except he wasn't ready to sleep. Spencer had tried hypnotism, method acting and cradling all of which had been ineffective. Piper had brought out the small guitar she'd gifted JJ at the baby shower and tried every song she remembered. Unfortunately, most of them were either wildly inappropriate for a 7-month-old or some form of rock music, which had done the exact opposite for Henry. She would have suggested Spencer talk to the kid about astronomy but for the fear that Henry might find it interesting. After all, he did dot on his godfather. Finally, as a last-ditch attempt to get to baby to sleep before JJ got home, Spencer suggested Piper read something. After all, it was something both their moms had done. They dug through their bags but Spencer only had technical books or foreign language books. But she'd hit the jackpot, pulling out her copy of the Iliad. They propped themselves up with Henry stuffed in between sheets, blankets and pillows. Either the heat would cook him or help him sleep. But as Piper passed the second chapter, she looked over to find both godfather and godson fast asleep. Chuckling, Piper set the book down and slipped out. It was almost midnight and she stood out on Will and JJ's porch, staring at the stars.

* * *

She wasn't quite sure how much time passed as wispy clouds passed over the moon as a taxi pulled up into the driveway. She laughed as JJ stumbled over her feet, Emily and Penelope piling out after her. "How's my baby?" JJ asked.

"Just like his godfather. Asleep," Piper chuckled.

"Not anymore," Spencer said, his voice drunk with sleep. "How was your night?"

"Awesome," Penelope sang, not quite finding her legs as she stumbled over to a laughing Piper. Emily, who was the least lightweight of them all, smiled, trying to steady JJ at the same time. "But why are you here?" Penelope asked, squishing Piper's cheeks. "You should be getting railed by Florida Guy, not babysitting. With his fluffy blonde hair and dreamy blue eyes and-"

"How 'bout we talk about it when you're sober?" Piper chuckled.

"You've got to take the leap, Piper. I mean life is full of surprises. You could find the love of your life tomorrow, but you could also wake up bald. And I mean Derek looks good bald but you would noooot." Piper struggled to hold back a laugh.

"How much did she have to drink?"

"She started out with a mimosa," Emily scoffed. 

"Wha-"

"I love you," Penelope said seriously. "And you," she said, pointing behind Piper at Spencer. "And Henry. Where's Henry?"

"Okay, I'm gonna take you home now," Emily sighed, pulling Penelope back to the waiting taxi. As the yellow cab pulled out of the driveway, Piper turned to JJ.

"Thank you for taking care of Henry. I appreciate it." The blonde wrapped Piper up in her arms before hugging Spencer tightly and then stumbled into her house.

"I think I'm gonna stay with JJ. Make sure she's okay before I head home."

"You sure?" Spencer asked. "It's late, maybe I should drop you home."

"Thanks, Reid, but you've done enough. Go home. Get some sleep before those bags under your eyes turn into suitcases," she joked weakly, moving to follow JJ inside.

"Piper," he called out softly. "I’d feel much better if you let me take you home.” Piper sighed, turning around.

"I really should take care of JJ until Will comes home."

"I can't just leave you here."

"Why not? Everyone else seems fine with it," she scoffed bitterly. Piper managed to meet Spencer's gaze. "Sorry, I'm just tired. Look, I'll be fine. Really. Go home, Reid." He stood under the faint porch light as Piper closed the door behind her. Reluctantly, he stepped into the shadows, starting to make his way home.


	6. In Which the Protagonist Turns Out to be a Dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer realises he's falling in love with Piper | fluff, a little bit of angst, it might seem to go on for a bit, but it was just an idea that popped into my head after watching Suits and NCIS

Spencer had never felt that bad about being left out. He understood when his team members couldn't make it to things. How Hotch would try to rush home to make it in time before Jack fell asleep. How Derek always had 'company' at least once a week. How JJ always had someone to go home to. He'd never minded before but for some reason, as he went home to his empty apartment, settled into a cold bed with a book, he wondered if maybe he was missing out on something. He didn't like that feeling. Somehow, home had started to feel less like his apartment and more like his desk at work. Emily had always teased him about having the highest solve rate in the team, closing more consults than all of them. But as he spent another night working overtime, he wondered whether it was because he loved his job or because it made him feel less alone. 

It wasn't to say he hadn't tried. The last attempt at an intimate relationship had been all the way back when Elle first joined the team. He still remembered how Lila had pulled him into the pool and had begun snogging him. It was a miracle he didn't lose his job after that. But as Spencer worked, he realised he hadn't known Lila at all. He'd have to be blind and stupid not to have like Lila Archer; she was beautiful, but they'd had no common interests. He'd even thought about calling her once, but the notion of not knowing what to say to her was so terrifying, he'd given up.

He leaned back in his chair in the darkened office, having no idea how to fill this void. It was like he was a jigsaw puzzle with one last piece left, but he'd dropped it somewhere and he was scrambling to find it. His life had always revolved around his work. When he was 15, he was anxious to fit in the missing pieces in maths, chemistry and engineering. It was what had drawn him to it. His bachelor's in psychology and sociology was purely academic, stuff he'd done to prepare for the BAU. But as he reflected on his own academics, he realised how different he was from Piper. He'd always liked her, from the moment he met her. It was probably the most cliched way to meet, but she'd spilled coffee all over him. The second time he'd been sopping wet. But he hadn't minded. In fact, he didn't care at all. He'd been more fixated on her mug. Texas was the last place he'd expected a TARDIS mug and Piper had seemed at a loss for words about it. He spun in his chair as he remembered how much his impression had changed within the few days. From an apologetic, coffee-stained mess, to a fiery force of determination at the sight of a colleague she'd admired in an interrogation cell.

He'd remembered the house-warming party that Penelope had set up to welcome her into the 'family'. They'd spent an evening dancing, laughing and telling stories. For some reason, he couldn't get the image of her at the party out of his head. She'd worn a thick woollen top the colour of rich tamarind and a flowing skirt, a beautiful rosebud pink that hugged her waist with a brown and gold belt. For her, history wasn't a fact like it was for him. History and mythology meant more to her than it did to him. While he was drawn to tangible problems he could solve, she was obsessed with stories and emotions. He could quote T.S Eliot and Shakespeare all day, but he'd never be able to find the nuance inside it, not the way she did. 

He was meant to be working, but it was all he could do to not think about her. He'd always prided himself on his ability to focus, but clearly, it wasn't working. He moved to the kitchen, waiting for the coffee as he remembered some of his worst cases. Piper had almost died trying to save him from Tobias Hankel and had continued checking up on him subtly afterwards. Never pushing or prodding. Just asking if he wanted a cup of tea, or if he wanted to talk the case out. It didn't hit him until he started talking to a therapist how much she'd been shaken by what happened to him. As painful as it had been for him, she, like the rest of the team, had been forced to watch it all, on her first mission as a special agent. He had never asked her if she'd been okay after all of it.

The smell of coffee brought him back to the empty office and he poured himself a cup before moving to his seat again. The job had changed them all, especially Piper. She'd gone from helping people through their trauma to saving them from it and it had become abundantly clear that she couldn't go back after their case in New Orleans. A sexual assault victim had turned into an unsub and it had shaken her more than she cared to admit. Derek had noticed it too, even tried to comfort her but clearly, it hadn't worked since Piper missed their next flight. Spencer had reluctantly gotten Penelope to track her cell, finding her at a batting cage. He hated working without her, which was especially strange, so he tried to entice her with the next case they had. "We've got a case in Bethesda." _Smack._

"What's new about that?" Piper scoffed, raising her bat.

"It's a pedophile. 2 kids are dead, Piper." The ball hit the wires. "Why are you at a batting cage?"

"It's like Tom Cruise says in _A Few Good Men._ I think better with my bat." Piper sighed, turning around. "Alright. Give me the Cliffs Notes." He'd gotten used to her little references, especially after their 'pop culture weekend' when Piper attempted to give Spencer a class on the major 2000s culture.

"All abducted from their beds in the middle of the night," Spencer reported. "The first two were found strangled with blunt force head traumas, dumped in the Potomac."

"Amber alert's been issued?" Spencer nodded.

"Police held a press conference a few hours ago. Hotch wants you there." Piper raised her bat again, focusing on the ball. "Piper, Strauss will come for your head if you don't show up." _Smack._ "Another kid went missing at midnight, Bishop, I know you care." She missed the next ball and sighing, lined up her bat for the next shot.

"Here, take a shot," Piper said, offering him the bat as she grasped the file in his hand. "So our guy's unassuming, sociable, a highly functioning white male in his late 30s to 40s?"

"Probably has a steady job, one that requires a uniform and would give him access to his victims' homes," Spencer said, lining up his bat like Piper did. He swung and missed.

"So what does Hotch want from me? Looks like you guys have got this."

"Piper, he needs you to show up." Spencer flinched at the next ball that hit the metal grate. "We need to find this kid."

"What's his name?" she said, not taking her eyes off Spencer.

"Kyle Murphy." He passed her the bat.

"And he hasn't been dumped yet," Piper thought aloud, smashing the next ball.

"We might know who did it. A guy named Hugh Rollins." _Smack._ Piper turned, leaning the bat on her shoulder.

"How old is Kyle?"

"6, why?"

"That means Rollins went from 11 to 9 to 6. That crosses from pre-pubescents to children. Pedophiles don't do that."

"You're saying he might not have done it?" Spencer said.

"Call Hotch. Get Anderson to pick up your car, we can get there in 15 minutes on my bike," she said quickly, pulling off her helmet and setting the bat down. "I forgot how much fun this is," she said wryly as Spencer settled onto her bike.

"You're having fun?"

"Yeah, especially because you hit like a monkey trying to have sex with a buffalo," Piper laughed as she turned over her bike. Spencer's face contorted into disgust at the analogy.

"What kind of nature films did you watch as a kid?"

"I didn't watch any," Piper said, pulling out of the series of cages. "I was too busy learning how to play ball."

That had been in a year ago in April. Now, he blinked the sleep out of his eyes. She'd started going to batting cages regularly and once Derek found out, he was quick to recruit her to the FBI's baseball team, despite her 'terrible choice' of teams. They'd started a rivalry with Piper hating the Chicago Cubs and Derek hating the San Francisco Giants. Spencer found it funny and disarming that year when Derek got them both tickets for the Giants World Series game. He was broken out of his reverie when Derek approached. "What are you still doing here, man?"

"Just getting some work done."

"Alright, c'mon kid. Come get dinner with me." Spencer stood up, swinging his bag over his shoulder, his face still pensive. "What's going on up there?" He didn't know how to explain it to him. More importantly, he didn't know whether Derek would approve. Piper was like his little sister and he knew Derek saw him as a little brother too.

"Have you ever had a song stuck in your head?" Derek nodded confusedly. Hanging out with Spencer and Piper had made him learn to treat anything that sounded slightly normal as a metaphor for something different. "Has that ever happened for you, with a person?"

"You've got someone stuck in your head?" Derek beamed incredulously. He knew Spencer had game, but the guy's low self-esteem acted as a buffer against anyone potentially interested in a relationship.

"No," Spencer said, far too quickly. "Just, um, just a poem I read a-a while ago, comparing someone he met to a-a melody stuck in their head."

"Right. And you're asking if that's ever happened to me?" Spencer shrugged.

"Has it?"

"I dunno. Sometimes," he admitted. "Probably depends on the person."

"How, um, how long do you think it lasts?" Derek chuckled.

"Well, use the analogy. You listen to a song, the melody's catchy, it gets stuck in your head. Next thing you know, you're listening to a jingle from an advert and the melody's gone." Spencer's forehead wrinkled as the duo walked into the parking lot. "Reid. Are you gonna tell me what this is all about?"

"I don't know yet," Spencer confessed as they stood outside Derek's car. He watched Derek play with his keys and gauge Spencer's mood.

"You'll tell me when you do?" Spencer thought about it. If what he thought was happening was true, keeping it in wouldn't help in making the feeling go away.

"Yeah, yeah. I will." Derek smiled, his eyes crinkling softly. "Where are we going, by the way?"

"There's a new Thai place near my place."

"Sounds good."


	7. New Years Are Arbitrary But I’d Still Like To Spend Mine With You

“Oh, come on, Piper. Stop being so damn mysterious and just tell me,” Derek pleaded with a smirking Piper as they made their way to the bullpen.

“No,” she said, gesturing with her cup of tea.

“Look, if it’s just wanting the Giants to win the World Series this year, I swear I won’t make fun of it.”

“Okay, first of all, that’s a wish, not a resolution. Second of all, they’ve got a very good team this year.”

“So, they finally have a decent pitcher. They still haven’t won in 54 years,” Derek countered loudly.

“Please, like your pitcher’s any better,” Piper retorted as they made a corner. “Dempster allowed 196 hits this year.”

“And Lincecum’s better how exactly?” Derek asked.

“The man can throw a ball at 97 miles an hour. That’s 43 miles a second,” Piper emphasised. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit a ball flying at you that fast?”

“You have a crush on him, don’t you?” Derek challenged, grinning.

“O-Okay, that is rich. I give you serious stats on an amazing pitcher and that’s all you’ve got? A crush?”

“She answered the question with a question,” Emily said, approaching the duo with Spencer. “Tell me, is it the flowing hair?”

“Or maybe his dreamy eyes?” Derek said and Piper inhaled deeply.

“I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to express how much I want to run you over with my bike right now.,” she said calmly, sidling past them to dump her bag as she settled into her seat.

\--

By mid-afternoon, the team had put away 15 consults until Emily spoke up about her next one. 7 people had been murdered in Indiana with a throwing star embedded in each victim. Piper was far too excited for it to be normal. “I love that right off the bat.” But they’d all gotten used to it.

“What do you love about it?”

“I love … I tell you what. I love when serial killers have a fun little thing. I don’t approve of serial killing but I think if you’re going to kill a bunch of people—"

“I feel like you have baseball cards of this guy,” Derek said incredulously.

“I absolutely do not,” Piper remarked. “They don’t make serial killer baseball cards, though, do they?”

“If they did, you’d probably own them,” Emily smirked.

“No, Spencer would own them—in a heartbeat.” Derek nodded sagely.

“Wha—You’d own them too—” He protested. “I’d own—"

“You’d be like one of those kids on the playground saying I’ll trade you a Gacy…”

“I’d trade you a Gacy for a Zodiac,” Spencer laughed, and Piper’s eyes lingered on his smile longer than necessary before Emily called for some gravity and help.

“He’s definitely an amateur,” Piper said, her laugh dying in her throat. “If he knew anything about Japanese culture, he’d know that shuriken are used to misdirect or maim, not to kill.”

“Also, in contrary to the popular misconception, they were actually used by samurai and ashigaru soldiers,” Spencer pointed out happily.

“Oh, there’s this great exhibit in DC,” Piper said dreamily. “And with it being New Year’s, everyone’s probably going to get trashed and drunk, so it’ll be completely empty,” she grumbled.

“No, you don’t like New Year’s Eve? What a surprise!” Emily deadpanned.

“Well, clearly you haven’t been puked over or groped or passed out at a party—”

 _“What if we had a family party?”_ Penelope’s voice leaked over the monitor and Piper shrieked.

“Pen, jeez, we’ve discussed this.” Piper said as Emily burst out in laughter. “You text first.”

_“I did. You didn’t answer your cell. Anyway, we’ll all go, just us.”_

“And where exactly are we going?”

 _“I’ll send you the address. I’m sending everyone a group text. Be there!”_ Penelope said morbidly before disappearing as fast as she’d come up.

\--

Derek had offered to pick up Spencer and as they drove to the party, he wished more than anything that he’d taken up Piper’s offer to see the exhibit. It wasn’t that he didn’t like hanging out with the group, just that bars weren’t his greatest forte. He much preferred quiet dinners and game nights where pumping music and bright lights were replaced by soft lamps and bright smiles and laughs. But they were in their 20s and apparently there was a rule. If he was lucky, he’d find a quiet spot in the bar and have an actual conversation. But it was New Year’s. That would be impossible.

Piper was more than happy to be the designated driver. It was better than not remembering the kind of pigs the night brought around. She remembered nights at the precinct when her dad had brought in dozens of horrible drunks who’d been arrested for public urination. It was scarring for a 9-year-old. But Emily and Penelope were insistent on it. JJ chose to spend the evening with Will and Henry while Hotch had backed out for Jack. Rossi had backed out too, which left the five of them. She’d kept Penelope’s cell in her own purse to avoid any regrettable drunk dials and it was past experience that told her Emily would be an insufferable drunk tonight.

Derek pulled up outside the bar Penelope had found, and the two found the ladies at corner table in predictable fashion. Any profiler could see the irony in how Piper was sitting, her legs crossed, and arms folded while she gossiped with Penelope who had a glass in her hand, still waiting for Emily to arrive with. The raven-haired beauty was lingering at the bar with a man who had obviously been the one to approach her. Piper sighed in relief as she saw the men approach. “Derek, thank god. She’s asking me to choose between Jacob and Edward again.”

“What! It is a valid question which very clearly says a lot more about a person than your damn Facebook profiling.”

“How many has she had?” Derek asked incredulously.

“So far, she has been in this establishment for all of 10 minutes and she has downed 3 Jagers, 4 cocktails and Emily was supposed to bring her shots 3 minutes ago,” she said, rubbing her temple. “And they won’t change the fucking music. How long am I supposed to listen to AC/DC?” Derek snickered and Piper leaned her head against the back of the wall.

“I thought you liked AC/DC,” Spencer asked, sitting down, careful not to touch anything that might gross him out as Derek left to get them drinks and possibly rescue Emily.

“I do, they have great riffs. What I don’t appreciate is one guy screaming the words caught with you pants down over and over on the speakers.”

“Okay, okay.” Penelope cleared her throat. “But seriously, Jacob or Edward?” Piper sighed wearily.

“You know what? Neither of them,” Piper admitted. “They both suck as characters. It is a self-indulgent narrative for romantics who would like the opportunity to choose between two people who wander outside of society’s norms.” Penelope nodded sagely.

“So, you’re on team Jacob,” Penelope said finally.

“This is pointless,” Piper sighed, rubbing her face.

“Kay, you two geniuses keep each other company, I’m going to dance.” Piper laughed as Penelope waddled over to Derek, pulling him to the dance floor until some other guy sauntered over to their table.

“Hey, have I met you before?” Piper shot him a tight-lipped smile.

“I dunno, have I kicked you in the crotch before?” Any sane man would’ve left the scene as Spencer choked on a chuckle. This one was not.

“You know, I just can’t place you. Maybe it was a dream.” Piper plastered on a fake smile, leaning over.

“Oh, wait, I did have a dream about you,” Piper said, grinning.

“Really,” he leered, glancing at Piper’s lips.

“Yeah, you know, you look a lot like my sleep paralysis demon.” Spencer laughed at the man who worriedly walked away.

“You really hate this stuff, don’t you?” Piper shook her head, sipping on her soda.

“I hate bad music and lazy writers and carollers at Christmas. That doesn’t mean I hate music or reading or Christmas. So, while I don’t hate bars, I do hate absolute sleazeballs with no creative pick-up lines.” Emily finally tore away from the bar to approach Spencer and Piper. “I’m gonna see if I can bully the bartender into playing Green Day.”

Hours flew by as Spencer managed to drag Emily to the pool tables and it was clear Piper had succeeded as Boulevard of Broken Dreams started streaming from the speakers. Derek pulled her into their dancing group and Emily was quick to use it to her advantage as Spencer kept glancing over to watch as Derek twirled her to the music. He didn’t notice Emily’s clean sweep as Derek spun both Piper and Penelope out and in before swaying to the music. It was irrational to be mad. He knew Derek was a good guy and Piper would never see him that way. But there was a part deep inside him that felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to be that smooth, suave guy on the dance floor and all of a sudden, the bar became too much to handle. He slipped away, telling Emily that he needed some fresh air. It wasn’t out of character for him at all, she noted as the tall doctor muscled his way out of the crowded bar. But she could tell it had something to do with the dancing group. Emily made her way over, her plunging neckline shimmering silver. Penelope shrugged as Emily whispered something to the seasoned agent and Derek excused himself.

Outside, Spencer leaned against the brick wall a few feet away from the bar entrance, watching the stars. It was strange. He had all these things in his head, little factoids on obscure things that rarely anyone was interested in. He’d grown accustomed to it. But Piper was different. She did more than just patiently listen to his rambling. She made sense of it, finding connections the more obscure the better. He’d been reading more, especially about her interests. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice when Derek sidled up to him. “Everything okay, kid?”

“Don’t call me that,” he said irritably. Derek practically flinched at the snap and Spencer recoiled. “Sorry, s-I- I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay man,” Derek said, his forehead unwrinkling. There was only thing that could cause this kind of reaction when they weren’t at work. “Is this about that song stuck in your head?” Spencer sighed, running a hand through his long hair. Derek would be a poor profiler if he didn’t recognise the habit. “You really like her, don’t you?”

“What’s the point?” Spencer muttered, keeping his gaze trained on the floor. “She doesn’t see me the way I see her.” Derek chuckled.

“And what makes you think that, Pretty Boy?”

“Because she’s amazing and smart and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for the team and I’m just…me,” he said miserably. “I’m not into rock music or baseball or parties.” Spencer barked a laugh. “I mean I wouldn’t know Green Romance from My Chemical Day.” Derek tried very hard to control his laugh, but Spencer’s mix-up was so profound, and Derek, regrettably, was only human.

“Kay, first of all, its Green Day and My Chemical Romance. Second, none of that matters. Look, reverse the equation for a minute. You think she particularly likes chemistry or physics the way you do?” Spencer shook his head, sullenly, not understanding the point. “But she still listens. She knows you and sees you for who you are, not for what’s in there,” he said, gesturing at Spencer’s skull. “She cares about what you have in here.” Derek poked Spencer’s chest. Spencer nodded, still unable to meet Derek’s gaze. “Now we could go home if you want but there is one more minute till midnight.” Derek stayed for a moment, watching him carefully, a question in his eyes. But Spencer shook it off, nodding for them to go back in for the countdown.

Emily was deep in conversation with Penelope and Piper, with Piper being the only sober one in the conversation. “What counts as a sexy bra?” Penelope asked and Piper shook her head slowly. “Because I think my Walking Dead bra is very sexy.”

“I don’t understand spoons?” Emily said as though it was the perfect addition to the conversation. “How can I be upside down?” Piper glanced over Penelope’s head to see Derek leading Spencer back in, mouthing a plea for help as Penelope led Piper over to the bartender.

“They’re getting more drinks?” Spencer asked incredulously as Emily swayed drunkenly.

“Nnope,” she slurred. “His name is Christian and he likes Piper’s music taste,” Emily giggled. Derek glanced over at Spencer as he fixed his gaze on Penelope leaving Piper alone by the bar. He turned back to his best friend who held a curious gaze, as though gauging Spencer’s reaction.

“Maybe I should—”

“Go for it,” Derek grinned. “You got this, lover boy.” Spencer nodded, inhaling deeply and regretting it as the smell of wood and liquor filled his lungs.

“So, you’re FBI?” Christian said, leaning over the bar and smiling at her, a napkin swung over his shoulder.

“Yeah, it kinda feels weird to say it, but yeah.”

“True crime kinda freaks me out to be honest,” he confessed.

“Not gonna lie, the job freaks me out too. But you should see some of the guys I work with. If you ask me, they all need therapy.” He was definitely handsome, Piper noted objectively. His hair was dark, falling over his grey eyes.

“You know therapy’s expensive but listening to AC/DC guitar riffs is absolutely free.” Piper laughed.

“Sure, just get rid of the vocals and they’re not bad.” Christian smiled, tucking his hair behind his ear.

“You know, a couple of guys and I started a band, just for kicks and uh, our first gig’s Saturday night, if you wanted to come.” Piper mulled it over.

“Your songs any good?”

“Oh, no, they’re terrible,” Christian smiled. “But it’s fun.”

“I bet,” Piper said, biting her lip. “Little piece of advice, mix it up with covers.”

“Any recommendations?” Christian smiled.

“Fall Out Boy, a little MCR couldn’t hurt either.”

“Right, keeping up with the kids, yeah?” Christian glanced at the bar between them as a slow rock song played over head. “So you think you could make it?”

“Well, I can’t make any promises,” Piper confessed, grabbing a napkin to scribble down her number. “But if I do want to show up and you guys do suck, I’m bringing rotten tomatoes,” she teased.

“Looking forward to it.” Christian said, not taking his eyes off her as Spencer sidled up to her.

“Hey, countdown’s almost here.”

“Right,” Piper said, glancing back at Christian who stepped back, waving the napkin before attending another customer. “Let’s go,” Piper said, inhaling deeply as she joined a very happy Penelope and a very sloppy Emily. Both of them were all over the place and Derek had forced them to a table, telling them the club soda was actually vodka. A large group by the bar had started counting at the top of their lungs and everyone started joining in.

10…

Piper physically cowered as Penelope started shrieking the numbers at the top of her lungs

9…

Emily had tried to stand up but just fell back onto the seat.

8…

Derek nudged Spencer to join in.

7…

Piper glanced over at Christian by the bar, watching the display countdown.

6…

Spencer’s eyes drifted over onto Piper, crestfallen at the direction of her gaze.

5…

Piper had joined in with the countdown at Penelope’s tug.

4…

Penelope shrieked happily with Emily.

3…

Piper watched Derek stand, whooping the number out and laughed.

2…

Her eyes slid over to Spencer, biting her lip unconsciously as she admired his eyelashes and easy smile.

1…

Spencer met Piper’s gaze, unable to control the smile that spread to his lips. “Happy New Year,” he said, his voice soon drowned out by the cheer in the room. For a moment, he was afraid she hadn’t heard him. Except he heard her murmur back not more than a few seconds later.

“Happy New Year, Dr Reid.”


	8. Love is Just a Mix of Chemicals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Behavioural Analysis Unit all have different ways of celebrating Valentine’s Day, some more cynically than others.

“The Catholic Church recognises at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of them that died for a higher cause,” Piper protested as she stepped out of the elevator with Penelope. “And you want to celebrate by letting Kevin feed you strawberries?”

“Okay, you officially suck!” Penelope said, eliciting a warm, broad smile from Piper as the two turned into the kitchen to join the others. “Valentine’s Day is a beautiful holiday to celebrate love and affection. You, my friend, are simply sulking because your significant other is in Florida.”

“Miami,” Piper corrected. “And I have nothing against celebrating a saint that helped Christians escape harsh Roman prisons. I just don’t think chocolates and flowers are the way to do it.”

“Never discuss holiday seasons with Piper,” JJ offered sagely to Penelope, cupping her mug warmly in her seat beside Emily as they approached. Piper set her coffee cup down on the kitchen island before propping herself on top, her gaze flicking to Derek and Spencer next to the sink, the tall doctor pouring out sugar into his otherwise bitter drink.

“No sleep last night?” Piper smirked, making him turn around.

“Maybe he couldn’t wait for Valentine’s Day,” Derek teased. “Wanted to get a head start on the day.” Spencer’s brow furrowed as Piper slapped Derek’s arm with a broad smile.

“Has Will told any of you what he’s got planned anyway?” JJ asked, shifting the conversation away from Spencer’s lack of Valentine.

“No-one ever tells me anything,” Penelope said miserably.

“Because you tell everyone everything,” Piper countered. “And if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you.” Emily laughed.

“Of course he told you,” JJ groaned. 

“Well, he had to tell _someone_. Might as well be me.”

“What about Drew? He coming up from Miami?”

“Dunno,” Piper said nonchalantly, picking up her coffee. “I haven’t planned anything.” Spencer took a seat beside Derek, slightly narrowing his eyes as he picked up the lie. Eventually, Rossi joined the lot and they took it as a cue to get back to work. JJ disappeared into her office with Penelope. Rossi took his usual path up the catwalk, checking in on Hotch before sidling into his office. The four profilers took their seats in the main bullpen, looking up every now and then to talk or launch things at each other when they got bored. 

Spencer narrowed his eyes, looking out the corner of his eyes at Piper’s hard handwriting. Her pen was held firmly, the nib pressed to paper so hard it might have bored a hole into the material. Emily recognised the slight anger that Piper was trying to mask and made her subtle exit. Derek had the slightest hunch that something was wrong but he had just finished a fresh pile of paperwork that he needed to get signed from Hotch. Spencer, who perhaps did not know any better, or simply didn’t care, kept staring, attempting to profile her.

“What are you doing?” Piper prodded, looking up exasperatedly. “Do you need a pen?”

“N-No, I’m good. Are you okay?” She sighed, looking around the room, possibly for an escape.

“Look, Spencer, I like you. You’re brilliant and a great colleague and I love working with you. What I don’t love is you trying to profile me,” she said firmly. “I’ll let you know if something else is bothering me.” She turned back to her file that was taking her 17 minutes and 34 seconds longer that normal. 

After work, the singles were going to hit up a bar, which mainly meant Derek drowning himself in tequila with Emily while JJ went on a date with Will and Penelope did something extravagant with Kevin. Spencer resigned himself to his apartment, picking out four books to read. 

His long fingers tapped on the hardcover of his book, not quite focusing on the text. His mind wandered, mulling Piper’s behaviour. She’d never been easy to profile for him. His mind ran through her behaviour that day, but couldn’t get past the way her soft hair fell over her hand. It lingered on her broad, bright smile and how her trousers hugged her waist, her loose-knit sweater slipping just over her shoulder, just barely exposing skin and he slammed the book shut, as though it were responsible for his mind crossing the line. She liked him. He was brilliant and a great colleague and she loved _working_ with him. Nothing more. He cursed Valentine’s Day, picking up his cell and abandoning the technical book he was reading.

_Hi! You’ve reached Piper Bishop! Sorry, I’m a little tied up at the moment but if you hop once, tap your nose twice and leave your name, I will call you right back!_

Of course she was tied up. Someone like her would never be free on Valentine’s Day. He let the cell phone clatter on the table until it buzzed clearly on the table. He read the message before grabbing it as well as his keys and his gun before heading out the door and taking the steps as fast as he could, too impatient to wait for the elevator. It only took him a few minutes to drive to her apartment and run up the stairs before scrambling for his keys and his gun. He pushed through the door, the flashing text message bright red in his mind and immediately registered the chaos throughout the apartment, rock music bleeding from the speakers “Piper!” He yelled out, panicked at the sight of the mess and her voice filtered out from the bathroom.

“That was quick, I didn’t think you’d be so--” Piper’s figure sauntered from out the bathroom, her usually soft, doe-eyes turning wide in panic, shrieking at the sight of the gun aimed right at her. “Put that down!” Slowly, Spencer lowered the gun, holstering it as his brain struggled to put the pieces together.

“You said you needed help,” he said slowly.

“Yeah, not that kind,” Piper said, laughing slowly. “Usually I would’ve texted Pen, but she’s busy with _Kevin.”_ His name tasted bitter on her tongue. 

“Right. So you called me.” He should’ve been happy, but he couldn’t help feeling as though he was only called because everyone else had lives, because she didn’t want to bother anyone.

“Well, I don’t need Derek or Emily seeing me in an apron,” Piper scoffed and Spencer finally registered her appearance. Her cheeks were flushed, flour dusted across her apron and slightly in her hair. Her hair was clipped back away from her face, white streaks of flour staining her otherwise dark brown hair. Her hands were damp and she wiped it on her dark culottes. “I was bored and Penelope’s birthday’s coming up soon and I thought it’d be a good idea to make cookies,” Piper said, snorting slightly at the idea.

“You’re asking for help?” Spencer asked, balking slightly. Piper never asked for help. She was prepared to fail spectacularly before asking for the slightest bit of help. So, of course, Spencer took the opportunity to gloat. Piper hung her head comically, groaning slightly.

“You have to turn this into a nightmare, don’t you?” She sighed softly, looking up at him, her hair a tumbling mess. “Yes, I am asking you, Dr Spencer Reid to help me make cookies that my friend can actually eat and won’t die from.” It had become painfully obvious to him that he was, once again, lingering on how beautiful she looked. Her knit top was loose on her shoulders, slightly tucked up. Wisps of hair tumbled down, framing her flushed face.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he said, smiling genially.


	9. Thunderstorms Aren't Conducive To Good Driving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident happens and an emergency number is called | fluff and angst w/ comfort | taking inspiration from the weather.

Piper knew as soon as she was sixteen, she didn't want a car. She'd wanted a bike. It fit her image exactly. 16 years old, the child of a widower, lead guitarist in a rock band and pitcher of her high school baseball team, the Cali Wolves. She'd spent her entire freshman year saving up, playing gigs for anyone who would hire them all so she could buy it. Her father had no problem, so long as she bought it herself. She didn't have to worry about bullies, keeping her image and grades high. All of this flashed in her mind as she drove home in the crashing rain. She should've listened to Spencer's worry about her driving home in the pounding rain. She'd brushed him off and now she had tried to desperately avoid a drunk driver, leading to her careening on the I-95 and crashing violently into the divider. Piper groaned, rolling over on her back as she unclasped her helmet, her vision starting to swim. She managed to pull the helmet off before collapsing on the ground again, feeling the rain gather on her lips, letting her eyes close.

* * *

Spencer cricked his neck as he exited the elevator, finding Derek near his desk. JJ had officially taken maternity leave, so Agent Todd was filling in for the time being. He was in a good mood, clearly with the courage to be teasing Emily about being hungover. Spencer squinted at Piper's empty desk, resolving to call her to see if she was coming in. Probably once Derek had left the room. Emily would most definitely give him less grief about liking Piper. But as he settled into his seat, Rossi burst out of his office, his face panicked as he tore into Hotch's office. Derek, still in his cheerful mood, laughed, joking about a fourth divorce. But the mood dropped as Rossi left the office with Hotch who was pulling on his suit jacket. "Derek, get Garcia to check the security cams on the I-95," Hotch directed. "We're looking for a drunk driver."

"Do we have a case?" Derek asked, the ghost of a smile lingering on his face.

"No," Rossi said abruptly. "Prentiss, Reid, we're going to the hospital. Derek, do not bring Penelope until she finds that drunk driver."

"Um, okay, should I text Bishop to meet us there?" Rossi exchanged a look with Hotch.

"No, we've got it."

* * *

The four federal agents emerged to meet JJ at the hospital, pacing and crying softly. Emily was the first to wrap her arms around JJ, rubbing her back. JJ had never broken down like this for a victim and Spencer narrowed his eyes at the whole thing, feeling a piece of the story missing. "Last night, Piper dodged a drunk driver on the I-95," Rossi said slowly, his voice cracking slightly. "She crashed into the divider and they brought her here. Her phone was dead so they had to check her records."

"Wait, why'd it take this long for them to let us know?" Emily asked, astounded.

"It's the I-95 at 8 pm. People are rushing to head home. She wasn't found until about 3 am."

"7 hours?" Spencer exclaimed.

"Sorry, I'm looking for a Dave Rossi." They turned to see a doctor standing awkwardly behind them.

"That's me," David said softly.

"Okay, um, Dr Bishop had a mild concussion and thankfully, she doesn't have pneumonia. Just the common cold."

"Have you looked for any fractures?" Spencer interrupted.

"Reid..." Hotch tried but the doctor already started to reply.

"She's got a hairline fracture on her leg, a sprained wrist and some minor cuts and bruises. She must have tried to slow her fall."

"Can we see her?" Emily asked next.

"Yeah, one of the nurses will show you in," he said, gesturing to a nurse, before shuffling off to see his next patient. The five federal agents filed in slowly as Piper lay limply on the hospital bed, a hand falling off the mattress. Spencer watched Rossi tenderly pick it up and lay it on her side. A nurse came in to get Rossi to sign for her effects and JJ left with him while Hotch received a call from Derek about the drunk driver and he and Emily left to arrest him, leaving Reid with Bishop's softly snoring body. He moved the chair as close to the bed as possible, watching over her sleeping body until she shifted in her sleep, opening her eyes slowly.

"Am I dead?" she groaned. "I feel like I should be dead."

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Piper's eyes seemed glazed over, probably from the anaesthesia as she glanced over at Spencer.

"Sorry, um, do I know you?" she murmured.

"You...You don't remember me?" His voice sounded shattered.

 _"_ You don't look like a nurse," she said slowly as JJ and Rossi returned with her things.

"Pipes," he murmured, shockwaves rippling through his body. _No._

"My name's Pipes?" Piper groaned. "Really? That's the best they could do?" Spencer looked out to Rossi in panic. "I'm just kidding," she said, moaning as she straightened. "I remember you, Derek."

"Yeah, you're really funny," Spencer scoffed. "I ought to set fire to your bike." Humour leeched from Piper's face.

"Where's my bike?" she asked quietly as Derek and Penelope rushed in.

"They're arresting the guy as we speak," Penelope burst out.

"No- I- I don't care about that. What happened to my bike?"

"Piper, you almost died," Derek said. "Is that all you care about?"

"Yes, will someone please just tell me what happened to my bike?"

"It went over the freeway, crashed onto the road below." Piper sighed, glancing at the ceiling. The image of her bike smashed into smithereens flashed before her eyes as Rossi dumped Piper's jacket, bag, gun and badge on a nearby chair before herding them all out. The seasoned profiler settled into a seat next to her.

"Bishop, why am I your emergency number?" Piper narrowed her eyes.

"They called you first?"

"Yeah, why?" Piper sighed, shifting painfully.

"Hospital procedure has multiple emergency numbers. They'll try the first one a couple of times. If they don't get an answer, they'll try the second one. Then the third one. You're my third emergency contact."

"Who's the first and the second?"

"Detective Leopold Bishop and Detective Andrew Lisbon. Clearly, they didn't pick up," she sighed. "I was meant to get rid of the second one, just never got around to it." Rossi placed a hand on Piper's good arm.

"Hey, if he isn't around, that's his choice. I'll always be here for you."

"Mmm, my Italian grandpappy. Where would I be without you?"

"Probably at home without an incredible pasta recipe."

"That I helped develop, excuse me very much." David looked at her fondly.

"Nonna Rossi would be very proud," he said, smiling. "Now, I have to go finish some business. I'm sure Derek needs to yell at you and Penelope needs to smother you before they both explode out there." Piper groaned as he called out for the devilish duo.

"Take me with you," she whispered loudly as Penelope bounded over, ready to fuss over Piper and she surrendered.

* * *

Piper had to stay in the hospital for another day, which would've sucked if not for JJ bringing in Henry in the mornings, Penelope's company for lunch, Derek's company for the baseball game with the Cubs and Rossi bringing homemade lasagne for them to have dinner and watch reality tv. Hotch had offered to drop Piper home and Spencer 'volunteered' to help Piper with her apartment to make it more mobile for her. And by volunteer, she meant rung the doorbell with the pretence of bringing food and barged in before rearranging the furniture while she sat on the kitchen counter to protest. Her fracture meant she missed out on flying anywhere but Rossi promised plenty of guest lectures with him which meant Piper still had lots to do at home, including looking for new bikes, none she was particularly fond of.

Within a month and a half, the leg had healed and Piper suffered through physical therapy for two weeks with Morgan as her drill sergeant until one particularly gruelling session when Derek offered to drop Piper home. Finally, Derek pulled up his car to her apartment and she thanked him before getting out, her eyes catching on a beautiful dark bike standing with a lacy red ribbon tied to the front. Derek grinned as Piper turned around. "That's a Yamaha R1," she said, breathless and it wasn't from the exercise they'd just done. "How-I-That costs like half my salary." Derek shrugged.

"We all pitched in." Piper laughed incredulously.

"W-Why?" The question was accidental and Derek moved from his side of the car to her curb.

"Because you're family now. Not to mention that one of Rossi's royalty check paid for about half the bike," Derek scoffed, shaking his head.

"And they're all waiting in my apartment aren't they?"

"That's what happens when your best friend is Emily Prentiss." Piper laughed, pulling out her house keys. She hooked an arm around Derek's elbow, only letting go to unlock the apartment door. She found Rossi waiting with a bottle of champagne who uncorked it promptly before pouring out a glass and offering them to Piper and Derek.

"To Dr Bishop's healthy and record-breaking recovery," the Italian cheered. "Cheers." The family clinked glasses and Piper beamed as she locked glances with Spencer on the other side of the room with his Sprite.


	10. Congratulations, You're Officially The Last Person To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The BAU pushes Dr Reid to confess to Dr Bishop. It doesn't quite work out.

"It's going big or going home, Reid. Just corner her and then pounce."

"He's not a rapist, Derek," JJ protested. "She's gonna feel like she owes him."

"Emily, you're her best friend," Spencer pointed out. "You've got to know right?"

"Best friend supremacy, Reid. I can't tell you if she does or doesn't." Emily shrugged. The four of them sat in the conference room, helping Spencer brainstorm ways to propose to Piper. Emily had cleverly hinted at Penelope that Piper still hadn't bought Henry a gift for his birthday, which meant she had transformed into a fairy godmother, dragging Piper all over DC to find the perfect gift. Their lies had been subtle too. Derek and Spencer were going to get dinner. JJ had a date with Will. Emily was going to adopt a cat. Which she would. Eventually. Rossi and Hotch were neutral, like Switzerland, but Spencer was sure they'd have something to say if she said yes. Right now, he felt like a death-row criminal witnessing multiple judges debate the fate of his execution.

"I still don't understand why Spencer doesn't just ask her out for dinner?" Derek asked, shoulders sagging.

"Because she still assumes he thinks of her as a friend," Emily explained patiently. "What Reid needs to do is shake her until she figures it out."

"She's a person, Em, not a snowglobe," JJ laughed. "Have we thought about a fancy dinner? There's a great place on Capitol Hill-"

"She's not fancy, she's classy," Emily countered. "You should challenge me to a duel at the medieval fair for her hand. Defeat the best friend, win the fair maiden's hand."

"Okay, apart from the whole sword fight thing, the medieval fair's a good idea. Plus with your memory, you could recite a speech."

"Her favourite play of the week is Richard III," Spencer countered. "When I asked her, she said gratuitous violence and a dick gets his ass handed back to him. Then Emily started laughing because of the unintended pun she'd made."

"JJ, how did Will tell you?" Derek asked.

"I don't think he did. He was just really dramatic about me leaving so I gave him my number."

"Then Piper and I tricked her into making it official."

"Ye- Wait, what?"

"That doesn't matter," Derek dismissed. "Maybe we should pressure Piper into telling Spencer how she feels." Emily shook her head.

"Not if she doesn't like him."

"So, we make her jealous. JJ, you remember Lila Archer?"

"No," Spencer spluttered. "Absolutely not."

"It could work, Spence," JJ tried.

"Or it could make me look completely unprofessional and as though I'm taking advantage of a stalker's victim."

"Fair enough," JJ murmured. "So, what else do we have?"

"What about the Thomas Jefferson Memorial at sunset?" Emily tried

"He was a slaver," Derek pointed out. "What about the baseball stadium at Arlington? I know a guy who works there. We get you in at sunset and-"

"I was bullied by the high school baseball team. So maybe not," Spencer proposed.

"What about the Tudor House Gardens in Georgetown? That'd be beautiful at sunrise."

"It's a good idea," Spencer nodded. "But there's still the matter of what I say."

"How you feel, kid. Just tell her everything you think about her. It's Piper."

"Derek, I don't know if you've noticed, but I have the emotional capacity of a brick."

"Not when it comes to Piper," JJ countered. "Spencer, the two of you have risked your lives for each other."

"Yeah, you didn't see what she was like when you were kidnapped. Wouldn't sleep or eat. I mean at one point, she was so frustrated, she ran into the middle of the field and just screamed."

"You're always the first person she looks for at a party," Derek added. "Reid, you'd have to be blind not to see it."

"Then why hasn't she said anything yet?" JJ groaned at Spencer's ineptitude.

"The same reason you haven't. You're both terrified of change."

"And she thinks she's cursed," Emily scoffed. Derek raised an eyebrow. "Nothing, never mind. Look, one of you has got to make the jump and I really don't think she's gonna make it."

"Look, guys, I appreciate this, all of it. But it's probably for the best," Spencer sighed, pushing off the desk and walking out.

* * *

"Emily, I'm not in love with him," Piper protested, gesturing with her cup of coffee.

"I never said that. I said you like him and you should ask him out."

“If I liked Spencer, which I don’t, I’d get him roses. I’d take him on fancy dinners and I’d sit with him under the night sky, holding hands. But I don’t like Spencer. So I don't do that. I do my work, I go home to an empty apartment, and I hang out with you guys.”

“Just admit you’re too chicken to ask them out.”

“I’m not chicken _because I don’t like them.”_

"Piper, come on. I'm not just a profiler, I'm your best friend. It's my job to know you, inside and out. The two of you are made for-"

" _Don't say that_. Emily, out of respect for you, I am warning you."

"What are you so afraid of Piper? That you're gonna fall for Spencer?" Piper stopped, closing her eyes. "He's a good guy, Pipes." By the time she'd opened them again, they were raw and teary.

"He deserves better than me."

"Like who? Piper, the two of you are unstoppable. You're a perfect team, your schedules coincide-"

"Or we could jeopardise the whole team. Did you think about that, Em?"

"You think keeping your feelings in won't? Piper, this job makes us live day-to-day. At any moment, this job could come back to bite us in the ass. You have to live while you can and take your shot before you get struck out."

"Really? Sports metaphors? That's what we've come to?" Emily shoved a grinning Piper. "Okay, let's say I do like him. Who's to say he's gonna say yes? More importantly, Hotch will never let it happen."

"You won't know until you ask and don't worry about Hotch. I'll handle him," Emily said confidently as they walked through the glass doors.

"Okay, the last time you said you'd 'handle him', you ended up trying to wrestle him in the gym," Piper joked.

"So, you'll talk to him?" Piper ran a hand through her hair.

"I don't know," she confessed.

* * *

Looking back, it had all happened so fast. She'd looked away for a minute and Spencer had almost died of Anthrax. She'd wanted to get him out of there as soon as possible, but the idiot had convinced her that he had to stay there. Here, in his arms, Piper dreaded to think of what could have happened if Kimura hadn't found the cure. Of course she liked him, she had always liked him. Some days, she'd have to snap herself out of the urge to tuck his hair behind his ears. Other times she had to go into another room to focus because of those damn forearms. She felt Spencer's arm around her, his hand playing with her fingers as she leaned her head into the crook of her neck while Christopher Eccleston ran from manikins. "You okay?" His voice was still hoarse, weak from disease.

"Mhmm."

"Bishop," he said warningly. Piper sighed deeply, reaching for the remote to pause the show.

"It was my breathing, wasn't it?" Spencer chuckled and Piper straightened, facing him on the couch. "You almost died today. I almost lost you again, Spence."

"You're not gonna lose me, Piper." Piper shook her head, closing her eyes.

"This could go really south," she whispered. "Either of us could die at any moment. I mean, we could be being stalked as we speak." Spencer cupped her jaw.

"Whether I'm with you or not, we could die regardless. I'd rather die knowing we love each other than die pretending to be friends." Piper tilted her head as Spencer kissed her, his lips soft and supple on hers until she pulled away.

"It's dangerous, Spence. We have a no fraternisation policy for a reason. Agents die because of this."

"No, they don't. It's just beaureaucrats looking for something to blame." Piper smiled weakly.

"Post hoc ergo propter hoc," she scoffed.

"I don't wanna hide how I feel, Pipes," he said, his hand never leaving her cheek, his eyes searching hers. "You make me a better researcher, a better agent, a better profiler and a better person. The only thing that matters is that you are by my side." Piper felt a smile spread on her face and it her face grew warm. She leaned forward, tilting as she kissed him slowly, pulling at his upper lip, her hand warm against his chest. She pulled away, burying her head into his chest as it dawned on her.

"We're gonna have to tell the team." Spencer wrinkled his nose at the thought.

"We don't have to tell all of them, just Garcia. The others will figure it out." Piper groaned.

"Emily's gonna kill me," she grumbled.

"Derek's gonna kill me," Spencer pointed out.

"What about Hotch?"

"Eh, he'll probably give us some vague advice and a form to fill out," Spencer said, shrugging as he turned back to the tv. Piper beamed at another thought.

"Rossi's gonna kill you."


	11. We Are 26 And In Trouble With Our Work Dad And Italian Grandfather. This Isn't Weird.

Derek, Penelope and JJ were still staring at the two closed offices on the upper deck of the BAU as Emily approached from the kitchen. "How long has it been?"

"20 minutes," JJ sighed, crossing her arms.

"Who's with who?"

"Piper's in there with Hotch, Spencer's in with Rossi," Penelope said worriedly.

"Anyone up for a bet?" Derek asked. Penelope glared at him in shock while Emily grinned.

"Okay, what you got?"

"Hey, those are our friends in there," Penelope protested. "And you're betting on this?"

"It's what Piper would want," Emily said mournfully. "I bet they won't break up. Hotch'll be fine with it." Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Hotch? Chill? Have you met the guy?" Emily shrugged. "Okay, I reckon Hotch breaks them up. Anyone else?"

"I'm in," JJ announced. "I bet that Hotch orders them to break up but they continue a secret, forbidden romance."

"You're such a romantic," Emily laughed. "What's at stake?"

"Winner doesn't have to do paperwork for a week," JJ said. "Losers have to split the paperwork between them." The trio agreed before glancing back at the offices.

* * *

"You understand the gravity of the situation?"

"Of course I do," Piper said pleadingly. "And you'd be well within your right to transfer one of us. But Hotch, we're good agents. We get the job done and the job comes first." Hotch sighed.

"You're highly qualified agents. Every unit would kill to have one of you signed on. Really, any of us. But this is extra ammunition for the higher-ups." Piper shifted in her seat.

"I know that Hotch. Gideon was the only reason I'm on this team. With him gone, my position is fragile. My relationship with Spencer-"

"Could endanger your spot on the team," he supplied. "Strauss sees you as extra baggage. I've managed to convince her that we need you but the reality is, as qualified as you are, she could wake up one day and realise you'd be better off in another unit. You're willing to risk your job for this?" 

"I think that if Strauss wants me off the team, she's gonna do it regardless of my relationship status on Facebook." Hotch smirked.

"This is asking for trouble," he warned.

"Probably." Piper shrugged.

"Don't break my genius. I still need him at full capacity." She chuckled.

"Rossi has to leave him alive for that."

"That's what you get for unwavering loyalty," Aaron sighed. "Alright, get out of here and do your work."

"You got it, boss."

* * *

Rossi paced behind Spencer who sat uncomfortably in his seat. David hadn't said a word yet and all of a sudden, Spencer felt very sympathetic for some of the unsubs Rossi had interrogated in his lifetime. "Anything happens to Piper, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you." Spencer whirled around, both confused and shocked. "You take care of her, kid. You know what you're signing up for. And I know where you live."

"So, that's a yes?"

"Doesn't matter what I think. Just know I'm watching you. And I have friends in the CIA." Spencer gulped as the door swung open.

"Hi, can I get my partner back?"

"All yours," Rossi said smiling as Spencer bolted out of the room. "You still up for dinner on Friday?"

"You're on." Piper closed the door behind her. "Did he threaten to break your kneecaps?" Spencer's face contorted. "Figured. He's used that before," she chuckled as they made their way down the catwalk to the rest of the team.

"Well?" Penelope asked. "Is this the end? Is it all over before it even began? Am I never going to get to see baby geniuses?"

"Woah," Piper yelled. "Calm down, Pen. We're good." Garcia squealed, pulling Bishop into a squeezing hug. "Run," she managed to Spencer who just laughed.

"Oh, no, you don't," Penelope said, releasing Piper and chasing Spencer. Laughing, Piper turned to Emily.

"Thank you for handling Hotch."

"Oh, c'mon. Stop rigging my bets!" Derek yelled.

"Bet's a bet. You and JJ have to do my paperwork this week." Piper laughed as Derek and Emily argued the rules and Piper grasped her empty mug from her desk, moving to the coffee pot on the other end of the bullpen. As she poured her cup, Spencer sidled up to her.

"So, Penelope caught you?"

"No, I definitely outran her." Piper chuckled, turning, mug in hand.

"Yeah, well, you got a little something there." She pointed to his jawline where Penelope's lipstick had left a mark.

"Damn," he muttered and Piper passed him a napkin from the table. "Thanks." Piper smiled before making towards her desk when Spencer pulled her back.

"What's up?"

"Do you want to get dinner with me after work?" He watched a slow, warm smile spread on her face.

"Absolutely."


	12. Morning Breath Should Be A Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Piper have their first date | fluff and smut so 18+ only :)

"You know, dragonflies can fly up to 60 miles an hour," Spencer added as they approached her apartment complex.

"But that's because of their size right? Like if a dragonfly was the same size as me-"

"Probably wouldn't get off the ground. Cool, right?"

"Yeah, but so could I. I could easily go three times the speed of a dragonfly," Piper said, beaming.

"Technically, your bike is thrice the speed of a dragonfly," he pointed out.

"But I'm on the bike and I'm the one driving it. So we're both going three times the speed of a dragonfly," Piper countered, dissolving into infectious giggles as she finished.

"We should do a race between you and a dragonfly," Spencer said, laughing as she stopped outside the door.

"This is me."

"Yeah," Spencer said, not letting go of her hand. They stood, staring at each other. "This is getting awkward. I should-"

"Do you wanna stay?" Piper blurted out. "Just that, you know it's late and you still have a few blocks for your place and-"

"Yeah," Spencer said, not quite sure where this was going. But he knew the last place he wanted to be was at his apartment, alone. Piper smiled nervously. She looked beautiful, he noted as she unlocked the door, with her hair clipped back and a silver acorn pendant settled around her neck. Her apartment always smelled the same; cedarwood and hyacinths.

"You want a cup of tea?" Her voice floated out from the kitchen. He followed it to find her setting a kettle on, turning to smile at Spencer. He didn't know how he'd never wanted to do this before, but as he pushed her gently against the counter to meet her lips, there was nothing else that mattered in the world. No feeling came close to having her in his arms, living out every fantasy he'd envisioned as she unbuttoned his cardigan. His fingers probed through the roots of her hair, pulling slightly to kiss her better as her hands untucked his shirt. Heat blossomed along her jaw as Spencer gained more confidence, proud of the small moans escaping from her lips, drowning out the hiss of the kettle behind them. She tugged at his collar, pulling him lower as she pressed her lips to his, tugging at his upper lip softly with her teeth until she pulled away, breathless. Their eyes were closed, foreheads pressed together.

"Derek's going to be unbearable tomorrow," he murmured against her lips.

"You might need a spare change of clothes," Piper giggled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips and he groaned as she pulled away, pushing him to her room inside. Ignoring the bed, Spencer pushed her up against the wall as she pulled his cardigan off. "You really want to do this?" Piper's concern was genuine, and not exclusive to her. Once they went through with this, everything would change.

"Yeah," he said genuinely before diving in again. She worked to loosen his tie before sliding her blazer off. It fell to the floor as the two moved to the bed, laughing between kisses as Spencer bumped against the end of the bed. She slipped out of her trousers before straddling Spencer.

"This okay?" Spencer hummed in agreement as he unclipped her hair, tossing it to the floor as she gasped either side of his jawline, leaning down as her hair fell forward, tickling him until he flipped her onto the bed, letting a laugh bubble from her lips. His fingers made quick work of his clothes, a small pile forming at the foot of her bed as Piper reached for her bedside drawer, pulling out a condom. She discarded her shirt, balling it up and throwing it over Spencer's head to join the others on the floor. Spencer straddled her, running his hands over her side.

"This isn't a dream, right?" he murmured against her neck.

"You dream about me?" Piper mumbled half-heartedly, too distracted by Spencer's warmth against her body. She trailed her nails along his back, moaning softly as Spencer unclasped her bra, trailing kisses along her chest as he slid two fingers into her core, tantalisingly slow. "Don't hold back, Spence," she murmured and she trembled against him as he stroked the flaps of her skin. "Inside!" she gasped, feeling her body pulse with his touch.

"You're so close, baby," Spencer murmured, pulling off the last of her clothes before lowering himself into her heat. He started slow, his forehead pressed against the crook of her neck as he pumped into her.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” she moaned and they fell into an easy rhythm, moving as one in pools of ecstasy. But it didn’t last; their thrusts becoming wilder as they started to lose control until Spencer collapsed next to her. His arm tucked under her and Piper pressed slow, lazy kisses to his shoulder. 

"You think Rossi'll really break my kneecaps if I hurt you?" He felt Piper laugh, pressing her forehead against him.

"You couldn't hurt me if you tried," she murmured against him, trailing her fingers along his side as they fell asleep, tangled between the sheets.

* * *

Spencer twisted in bed, opening his eyes slowly as rosy sunlight fell on Piper's still body. He shifted to get a better look at her, wondering what the hell he did to be able to wake up next to her. "It may have escaped your attention," she murmured. "But watching someone sleep is considered creepy."

"It's a good thing you're not asleep then," Spencer joked, his heart warming at the sight of Piper's lazy smile. Groaning, she shifted over to face him. "Good morning Dr Bishop."

"Morning Dr Reid," she mumbled sleepily, freeing her hand from under the duvet to tuck a strand of Spencer's hair away, her fingers lingering on his neck. He felt her thumb softly caress his jaw as she blinked at him slowly. "You are real, right?" Spencer laughed. "Cause it feels like I'm having one of those really vivid dreams and at any moment, Hotch is gonna call me and-" Spencer interrupted her with a kiss only for Piper to pull away abruptly. He backtracked immediately.

"Sorry, did you not-"

"Morning breath sucks, Reid," she grimaced and Spencer flushed until Piper rolled over to grab a tin of mints, passing one to Spencer as she popped another in her mouth.

"I don't want to go to work," he whispered, as though Hotch was listening in.

"Same here. But there's probably a dead body somewhere that needs our help." Spencer groaned.

"Thanks for the image."

"You're welcome," Piper said, pressing a kiss to his nose before yawning. She straightened up, running a hand through her short hair. "I need to shower," she thought aloud. "Then drop you off home so you can change, then we can head to work together."

"Don't forget breakfast," Spencer added, straightening behind her, dragging strands of her hair from her neck as he pressed warm, sloppy kisses to her neck.

"Right," she murmured, closing her eyes in bliss as Spencer worked his way up to her ear. "I uh, I think there's um, there's a bakery on the other side of your block that has, um..." She trailed off, moaning in pleasure as Spencer worked his tongue behind her ear, tugging at it with his teeth.

"What do they have?" he purred before starting to suck on her jawline softly, swirling his tongue on supple skin.

"You're gonna leave a mark, babe," she whined.

"Tell me what the bakery has," he said, smirking, pulling her chin closer. Piper smiled against his lips.

"Cinnamon rolls," she mumbled between kisses. "Sweetcakes, Danishes, croissants. The ones that Penelope likes."

"We should pick one up for her," he murmured, raising his free hand to slide up her body to the side of her face, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"I would if you'd let me shower."

"Then I wouldn't be able to do this," he said, pulling away from her face to sink lower, his eyes disappearing between her thighs. Her body arched in pleasure as she felt his tongue wrap around her clit.

"On the contrary," she managed through the shockwaves of pleasure Spencer was inducing. "I think that subset of sexual interaction would only be supplemented by a humid and uh, moist conditions." She collapsed, grumbling as Spencer's tongue extracted itself from her heat.

"You make an excellent point, Doctor."

"Why, thank you, Doctor," Piper said as Spencer pulled her out of bed and into the bathroom. "I'm so fucked," Piper whispered as Spencer pressed more kisses to her, stumbling against the marble floor.

"Not yet, sweetheart," Spencer smirked as Piper started the hot jet of water. Her hair, choppy and wavy, straightened under the hot water and she pulled him in, the stream large enough to cover them both. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he pressed short, rapid-fire kisses to her lips. His hands trailed over her smooth, beige skin, from her chest to her hips. He pulled away, only to press her against the damp, tiled wall, kissing her neck softly while he rubbed his fingers against her core. Piper gasped under the steaming jet of water, overwhelmed by Spencer's touch. Deciding to return the favour, she stopped him, gliding her fingers down his chest until she was on her knees. Spencer gasped as her warm tongue wrapped around his groin, rivulets of water pouring from his hair down his back. She rose up, pressing kisses to his navel, up his chest until she was on her tippy toes to reach his lips.

"Fuck you're tall," she breathed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Spencer reached for the soap, lathering bubbles in his hand, the smell of white rose petals and Piper bit her lip, trying to suppress a moan as she felt his hands roam her body, squeezing her breasts before traversing her back and gliding back to her abdomen.

"You know how they say you have the best thoughts in the shower?" he murmured in her ear.

"Mhm," Piper hummed. "It's attributed to the hot steam which prompts your prefrontal cortex to relax, allowing it to switch onto autopilot while the default network switches into gear and new connections and solutions are illuminated which your prefrontal cortex would usually- That's not your point is it?" She felt Spencer chuckle.

"I was going to say that you're absolutely gorgeous but your point's interesting too," Spencer said, flipping them so she could wash off before scrubbing him down.

"Well," Piper started, lathering soap in her hands. "Your prefrontal cortex here," she said, tapping his forehead as she continued. "Contains every social cue you've ever learnt." His eyes never left hers as she started scrubbing at his chest. "It's like a tense coil, pulling back every daydream and fantasy you've ever had. But the steam lets the coil relax and like a spring, ideas start flowing because you're not as focused."

"I love it when you speak professionally," he said, flipping around again so he was in the direct stream of water. Piper smiled, kissing him softly on the lips.

"I'm going to dry off and get ready. Please be done in 15 minutes." He kissed her forehead. She slipped out, closing the glass door behind her as Spencer combed his hair back with his hands. By the time he emerged, Piper was finishing up outside and she'd laid out his clothes from the night before. His terrible attempt at drying his hair had Piper laughing before she tenderly fixed his hair, planting a kiss on his lips and passing him her helmet.

"What about yours?" he asked.

"You're holding it."

"Piper-"

"What? It's nothing we haven't done before."

"Yeah, before your accident."

"Which wasn't my fault. Drunk driver plus thunderstorm, Spence and we're going to be late so put the damn thing on and get your butt downstairs. Spencer sighed. _Stubborn piece of ass._ Spencer had emerged from his own apartment in a change of clothes with a pea-green sweater and dark brown blazer. "Well, don't you look charming," Piper beamed as they rushed down the steps to the subway, hands clutching each other.


	13. I Know You Love Me But Say It Anyway Because I Crave Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble I came up with. Undated.

Spencer loved her. He was fairly sure she was sick of hearing him say it, but he did. He couldn't help it. It would slip out every time he saw her, or left her, or found her emerging from a confrontation with the unsub. It was also every moment they were alone, every time they woke up together or sleep together. It had turned into an addiction. But the slow, warm, infectious smile that spread on her face and the adoration in her eyes made it absolutely worth it. But there were other moments too. Moments of absolute genius where Piper would come up with a tangent none of them thought of. And other times where she would, with the utmost respect, put an officer in his place. That was how it slipped out today. Hotch had sent the two on an adventure to the medical examiner's office to study the pale remnants of what were two bright, doe-eyed college students. They'd returned to Hotch introducing them to the lead detective and a few officers before the boss left with the detective to discuss an interview. The plan for the doctors was to get started on a geographic profile and psych evaluation of their unsub. But Piper had become distracted by an officer's comment. "Nah, they're not real doctors."

"Sorry, couldn't help overhearing," Piper started. "I just, I thought you said that we're not real doctors."

"Well, yeah." His accent was thick. _New Jersey_ , Spencer noted, watching as Piper gazed at him with false intrigue. "I mean, it's great and all but uh, I mean what good are you in emergencies?"

"I suppose it depends on the emergency," Piper countered with a broad smile. Anyone who didn't know her would find it charming, attractive even. But Spencer knew better and he hid a smirk as he watched carefully.

"Okay, uh, classic example. You're on a plane, the flight attendant asks for a doctor. What's a PhD good for, huh?"

"Perfect. We'll go with that. Say you're on a plane, the flight attendant calls for a doctor," she repeated goodnaturedly as she pulled up a chair. "Four people stand up to go to the front of the plane. One's an MD, the other has a PhD in psychology. Another's got a PhD in Engineering, like our Dr Reid. And our last guy has got a PhD in philosophy. Now, of course, if it's a medical emergency like a heart attack, obviously the most useful there would be an MD."

The officer smiled, as though Piper was making his point for him. "But if it's a mental health emergency like a panic attack or a manic episode, an MD would be useless. The person you need is the doctor with a psychology degree. If the emergency is that the plane is diving at breakneck speed, you'd want someone like Spencer who could fix the issue. Finally, if it's a case of the plane is going to crash and not everyone's going to make it, it's the philosophy major who's going to solve the moral dilemma," Piper said, grinning as she rose from her seat. "But you're perfectly right to use that example. Really, it's a societal dilemma in terms of general linguistics. The term 'doctor' actually refers to someone with the highest possible degree in their field. Whether that's an MD, a JD or a PhD, they're all on the same level." The officer seemed to want to speak up, but Piper wasn't done quite yet. "Then, of course, it's the kind of medical emergency. A cardiologist would be useless in trying to help with a person who needs an urgent root canal, just like a dentist would be in the case of a heart attack."

"I just think it's pretentious is all." Piper's face went slack with disappointment.

"Maybe you're right, maybe it's pretentious," she admitted slowly. "But in the army, you call a lieutenant, a lieutenant. In the police department, you call your captain a captain. Because they've earned that right by working their ass off. We worked out asses off for years producing original, empirical research to help advance our chosen fields. So, I'm sorry, but I'd prefer to be called Dr Bishop and he'd prefer to be called Dr Reid," Piper finished. She turned around, walking in step with Spencer as they moved into their workspace.

"I love you."


	14. You Smell Like Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> inspired by s2e6 of 9-1-1 || song: willow (dancing witch version) || tw: suicide, self-harm, depression, addiction || angst || hurt/comfort || domestic fluff

They weren’t new to rough days. Every day was rough in this job. Trying to ask why someone would send packaged bombs was a difficult task, made worse by the fact that it was a solo profile that Piper had to work out. Strauss had increased their case load after multiple cases sprouted in the Midwest and southern states, requiring most of the BAU’s manpower to split up while the best unit, Hotch’s unit, stayed behind, dealing with different serial offenders and prescribing profiles. This particular rough day was made much better by a package of brownies that had been sent in by a victim’s grateful family from Sacramento. It also meant that their work had been completely abandoned. Instead, the 3 profilers in the bullpen started fighting over the fudge goodies which attracted the attention of 2 more profilers from upstairs and 1 technical analyst. Derek and Penelope just started scratching and fighting to get to the chocolate while Rossi pretended to break up the fight, only to pluck a baked goodie out of the box and stuff his face with it. It wasn’t until Hotch arrived with Spencer and a small army of coffees that the fight broke up, leaving the chief staring at an empty box. “Seriously? You couldn’t save any for me?” He dismissed them all to get back to work immediately, passing the box to Penelope so she could leave it in the kitchen on her way to the office.

Emily kept laughing quietly to herself despite the mutilation case she was meant to be working. JJ had started to cry softly, tears slipping down her face as she stared at the framed photo of Will and Henry, leaving splotches all over her desk. Piper’s head was swimming as she tried to focus, finding it hard to focus on Anderson’s face as he passed her a file she’d asked for. Although, she couldn’t quite remember what it was she’d asked for.

“Dr Bishop? Are you okay?” Grant asked her, slightly worried. He was an extension of the team of sorts. His primary duty was retrieving evidence and files for the team without hacking into databases. He was the legal version of Garcia, Piper liked to joke. To be fair, he was the closest to JJ, their jobs overlapping at times when she was a communications liaison. His friendship with Spencer was fairly different, both of them weren’t avid drinkers what with alcoholism running in the Anderson family and mental health concerns in the Reid family. But with Piper, he was more than just a lackey. She had trusted him when she was being stalked, shown a sort of faith no-one else had.

“’M fine,” she said slowly, her hand rising to cradle her head. “M just tired.”

“Haven’t been sleeping well?” Grant asked.

“No, just tired. Thanks for the…” her voice trailed off and her gaze shifted to the glassy double doors.

“Something wrong?” Grant asked, finally catching Spencer’s attention.

“What’s she doing here?” Piper murmured; her gaze fixed on the glass doors.

“Who?” Grant asked, befuddled and Piper turned back to him.

“She’s right there, you don’t see her?”

“See who?” Spencer asked, studying Piper’s features. Her eyes were glassy as she turned to him, a sad sort of smile on her lips and Spencer stood up, stepping forward to place a hand on her shoulder. “See who, Piper?”

“She’s right…” Piper turned her gaze back to the door, seeing nothing. “No! No! She was right there!” Brushing his hand aside, she sidled past Anderson, starting to rush towards the glass doors. Spencer followed, Grant trailing right behind him, managing to reach her in the elevator. Grant watched confusedly as she pressed the button for the rooftop.

“Who are we looking for?” Grant asked. Piper glanced over, her short hair bouncing just like her smile. Spencer hadn’t seen such a broad smile in ages, especially on her, one that bordered childlike glee.

“You’ll see!” she said happily. “It’s a surprise!” Spencer and Grant watched as the elevator doors opened, following her out onto an empty rooftop. Piper’s smile faltered. “She’s supposed to be here,” Piper murmured. “Where’d she…” Her deep brown eyes fixed in front of her.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Aubrey said kindly, smiling sadly. “My brave little girl. Look at how much you’ve grown up.” Spencer’s brow furrowed.

“Piper, where is she?”

“Spence, she’s right there,” Piper said again, smiling sappily, tears welling up. “You can’t see her?”

“Who am I meant to be seeing, Pipes?” He asked gently, scared out of his mind. Could she be— no, that was unthinkable.

“They can’t see me, honey,” Aubrey said, her soft sweet voice carrying over the brisk wind.

“Why not?” Piper asked, her voice honeyed, weighed down like lead.

“Does it matter? All that matters is that I’m here.”

“You’re here,” Piper whispered. “Mama, you’re here.” Grant’s eyes flew wide, glancing over at Spencer in panic but the step he was about to take towards Piper faltered. Piper was afraid to blink, too scared she would disappear again if she closed them again.

“I’m here,” her mother said, reaching a hand for her daughter to take and all of a sudden, Piper felt like she was 7 again, lost in a shopping mall, calling out for help until she saw her mother’s fleeting figure, her scared, shaky hand reaching out but too far to reach her. She didn’t notice the tears streaming down her face, trailing down her nose as Spencer watched her step forward, her hand reaching, fingers trying to touch Aubrey’s fingertips. Grant started running back down to the elevator and Spencer lunged forward, catching Piper’s wrist before she could step up onto the ledge.

“Spencer, let me go,” Piper said tearfully. “Let me go home.”

“This is home,” he said, his eyes welling up as his grip on her wrist was ripped away. “You and me.” Piper shook her head dully, both feet on the ledge.

“She’s my home, Spence,” Piper said, sighing softly.

“You can make a new one, Piper, please,” he begged. “Just come down.”

“But I’m so close, Spencer. I can be with her again.” Piper’s deep brown eyes mirrored her mother’s. Aubrey’s hair was longer, and she was wearing her maroon sweater, the one that always smelt of cinnamon and cocoa.

“She’s not real, sweetheart. You know that.”

“Of course, I’m real,” Aubrey countered. “Aren’t you tired of fighting, baby?”

“I’m so tired,” Piper murmured, oblivious to Spencer stepping up beside her.

“Piper, you have to let her go,” Spencer said, focusing on getting her down rather than Hotch bursting through with Grant trailing after him and Derek stumbling over behind him.

“I can’t lose her again.”

“I know,” he murmured, clasping her hand. “But you can say goodbye. You can live knowing she is so proud of you for fighting.” It took everything Spencer had in him to hold on to her and pulling her back down behind the ledge onto safe ground. Piper turned seeing her mother standing stock still on the ledge.

“I love you my darling,” Aubrey said, her eyes filling with tears before spreading her arms out like an eagle. “You were always more than enough.” Piper watched, frozen, unable to breathe as Aubrey stepped back, letting gravity take her life again. In Piper’s mind, 15 stories down, there lay a liberated woman, leaving behind a traumatised child, screaming in agony as Hotch took over for Spencer. She was wrapped up in Aaron’s arms, retching sobs filling the air as she knelt on the ground.

* * *

Piper was sitting silently in between a jabbering Emily and an obnoxiously loud Penelope who were discussing where raccoons sat on the scale of danger and cuteness, completely oblivious to Piper who simply stared at her shoes and tugged on Spencer’s cardigan, pulling it closer. Spencer was pacing in front of them as they sat in the hospital waiting room, patiently waiting on the tox screen results. Every so often, Spencer glanced up to see Piper, her head hung low as she processed what happened. She didn’t look up to meet anyone’s glance or respond to anyone’s touch, simply staring at her boots when a doctor pulled her boss and boyfriend into another room to tell them that they’d been spiked with a hallucinogen, specifically LSD, and that it would be out of their system within hours. But Piper had other worries when she and Spencer arrived at her apartment. Three suitcases lined the kitchen, Daniel taking the helm with dinner and Lucy pacing in her living room.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Piper tried jovially.

“Emergency contact,” Daniel said, a dark expression on his face. Piper’s pretense faded as Lucy rushed over, wrapping two arms around her. “Your boss called me. Told me you almost jumped off a building. What were you thinking?”

“Look, I can explain everything,” Piper said, releasing Lucy so she could wipe her younger sister’s tears.

“You completely suck, you know that?” Lucy said. “We already lost Mom and Dad’s dead to us, so I will kill you if you die on me.” Piper sighed, turning to Spencer.

“You should go. I’ll handle this.”

“No, let him stay,” Daniel said angrily. “He wants in on the Bishop family, he should know all of it.”

“Dan, I’m begging you not to—”

“You know she used to take pills in college? Or-or that she used to drink when she was in Boston?”

“Daniel!” Piper barked. “Inside, now!” Daniel huffed, biting his tongue as Piper dragged him by the arm to an inside room, leaving Spencer and Lucy outside.

“That’s not gonna end well,” Lucy sighed after the door banged shut.

“Has Daniel ever been that angry?” Spencer asked, unsure of whether to take a seat or run like hell.

“Never at her. Piper’s always been a hero to him,” Lucy sighed, curling up in an armchair. “Thank you. If she’d taken that step, I don’t know what we’d do.”

“You’re not the only one,” Spencer said, sighing softly, running a hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“You know, the funny thing is that you don’t _have_ to do anything,” Lucy said, a sarcastic smile dripping on her features and Spencer’s brow furrowed. “I mean, we’re her family but somehow we’re just…never there when it matters. Danny and I, we’re the ones who should be doing this.”

“I’ve never had siblings,” Spencer blurted out, not sure where he was going with this. “But I know Piper loves you both, more than anything. She just wasn’t thinking clearly.” Lucy looked at him strangely.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Lucy asked with a silly smile on her face that reminded him of Piper.

“She’s always been there for me. She’s always had my back. She makes me laugh, and she encourages me. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for me, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her, so yeah,” Spencer said, shrugging slightly as though it was simply a plain fact. “Of course, I’m in love with her.” Whatever Lucy was about to respond with was interrupted by the sound of escalating voices.

“You called him too?” Piper yelled.

“Well, he should know, shouldn’t he?” Daniel fired back. “He is our father after all.”

“Oh really? When’s the last time our father deigned to appear when we needed him?”

“He should know what happened,” Daniel retorted stubbornly.

“He’s the reason I ever felt that way in the first place.”

“For God’s sake Piper, how long are you gonna blame Dad for what happened to Mom? As far as my memory goes, you were pretty horrible to her too.”

“I was a kid!” Piper yelled. “All I ever wanted was Dad to be proud of me and somehow, the only time I ever got any kind of validation from him was when I was on his side. I have to live with that every day. That I broke my own mother’s heart!” Spencer had had enough, and he rose to his feet, moving to break up the fight. Piper had grown red in the face, her cheeks flushed brightly, slightly damp under her eyelashes. Daniel’s words had stung more than she cared to admit. “It doesn’t mean that I didn’t love her.”

“You always act like you’re the only one that lost Mom,” Daniel spat. “Just because I don’t have the same memories of her doesn’t mean I love her any less. Just because I didn’t let it tear my life apart, it doesn’t give you the authority to alienate me from her.”

“Hey,” Spencer said, feeling slightly outnumbered as both Bishops stared him down. He was much more comfortable with the chess pieces than the two very angry and agitated siblings. Chess pieces were less likely to kill him. “Maybe we should take a break.” Piper pinched the bridge of her nose.

“You wanna know why I hate Dad?” Piper said miserably. “Because he was selfish. And lazy. And no matter what I did, I was never good enough for him. I memorised recipes. I changed my taste in music. I managed everything I could so that he could have an easier life and yeah,” she said. “That included taking care of the two of you. All so that he could wallow in his grief. And not once did he ever look at me like I was his daughter. You wanna tell him that I almost jumped off a building? Well, guess what, Dan! He doesn’t care. He didn’t care when I was doing pills. He didn’t care when I was drinking. He didn’t care about the PhDs or the jobs or that I hated myself. The only thing he cares about is himself. And when he comes knocking on this door, he will only be here to say that once again, I have disappointed him.” Daniel stood absolutely silently while Piper took a deep breath in. “Look, whatever you told Dad, I’ll handle it. But you don’t have to worry about losing me.” She stepped forward. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” she said with a weak smile.

“Right. Good.” Daniel cleared his throat. “I’m gonna make sure Lucy hasn’t burnt anything,” he managed to get out and walked out of the bedroom. Piper’s cheeks puffed out as her breath whistled out.

“That’s it?” Spencer asked, slightly confused at the rather unremarkable resolution.

“We’re siblings. We fight and we argue just before we start bleeding and then throw a packet of band-aids at each other. No apologies, no sappiness.” Spencer snorted, passing her a hand up. She grasped it, her misery evaporating. “You ready for a Bishop family night?”

“Oh, you know I live for those,” Spencer scoffed, mirroring her easy smile as she pulled him into the living room.

“You’ll master it eventually.”

“So long as I don’t have to watch those Star Wars prequels,” he groaned, eliciting a warm giggle from Piper’s throat.


	15. Moving Out (Anthony's Song)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: insp by moving out by billy joel <3
> 
> piper takes up spencer's offer of moving into a new apartment for the two of them but nothing's ever easy for our intellectual lovers.

“It shouldn’t be this hard to find a nice place in D.C,” Piper grumbled. She hadn’t been able to cook all day because her kitchen countertop was currently preoccupied with dozens of apartment plans.

“They’re all either too small or they aren’t anywhere close to a train station,” Spencer murmured, barely audible through the green highlighter held between his teeth. One hand kept the floor plans steadily on the counter while he held a red pen in his other hand. Piper couldn’t help a small smile every time his nose twitched.

“What exactly are you annotating anyway?” Piper asked, barely having the space to make a cup of tea.

“How we’re going to rearrange our bookshelves. You’ve got about four big ones and four little ones. I’ve got eight big ones.” 

“Scrap the apartment,” Piper decided, abandoning her cup of tea to call their realtor. “I say we upgrade,” she said, starting to dial. 

“Upgrade to what?” Spencer’s forehead wrinkled, his nose scrunched slightly.

“A loft,” Piper said, grinning slightly as she raised the phone to her ear. Spencer groaned slightly. “Come on, it’ll be perfect.”

* * *

“This is not perfect,” Spencer murmured bitterly and Piper squinted her eyes, looking away from the window. The loft was fine enough, but the clear window into an old man’s shower was not.

“I see why the couple moved places,” Piper grimaced and Graham, their realtor nodded vigorously. They didn’t bother looking through the house, getting out as quickly as possible, but not before the man started singing.

“Run,” Spencer whispered and Piper giggled as she grabbed the doctor’s hand, racing as far away from the sound to the car.

* * *

“I dunno, it’s kinda nice,” Piper said, hands stuffed in each pocket of her dark dress. “Plenty of sunlight.” She looked beautiful in the rosy afternoon, the light reflecting off her brown eyes, turning them a lighter shade until she turned around to glance at Spencer leaning on the railing of the raised platform. His gaze shifted over to the floor to ceiling window so they could see all of DC. And all of DC could see them.

“We’d have to sacrifice one of our bookshelves for the view,” Spencer remarked, and Piper shrugged.

“We can throw out your technical books,” she offered, a smug smirk on her lips, receiving a narrowed look from Spencer.

“Or I could throw out your Byron collections,” Spencer retorted, receiving a look of blasphemous disgust from Piper. “How many editions do you own?”

“That’s okay,” she said quickly. “We’ll try somewhere else.”

* * *

Spencer actually kind of liked this loft. It was spacious, with a beautiful spiral staircase leading to the bedroom. The bathroom looked nice too, even if it was next to the kitchen. And Piper genuinely liked the kitchen too, with its little island and bar stools. All of their bookshelves would probably fit in here and Piper was seconds away from asking about the price when an elderly woman knocked on the door with a large tray of brownies. “Hello, I heard you were moving in.” Piper was quick to notice how the woman couldn’t quite walk in a straight line, or how her pupils were dilated.

“We’re still thinking about it,” Spencer said easily.

“We’re federal agents,” Piper said warningly.

“Nothing illegal about a glass of wine,” the lady slurred, smiling disarmingly.

“Alcohol doesn’t dilate pupils like that and one glass of wine doesn’t make you slur.”

“Dr Bishop,” Graham intervened, “Perhaps we shouldn’t antagonise any future neighbours.” Piper’s eyes narrowed and the realtor looked at Spencer for help. Spencer nodded, taking his girlfriend by the shoulders and walking her out despite her protests about the high granny.

* * *

Spencer looked ready to collapse. A three-day case had worn him down and the only thing he really wanted to do was go home and cuddle with Piper. “Pipes, do we have to look at it right now?” Spencer asked, trudging up the steps.

“It’s right on our way home,” Piper said, a small bounce in her step.

“It doesn’t even have an elevator,” Spencer said tiredly and Piper stopped, turning around to kiss him and he was too tired to resist. He parted his lips, expecting her to step down to him but she backed up the stairs and he took involuntary steps forward, chasing her lips until she stopped and he pressed her against the wall, his hands grasping her waist gently.

“And...we’re here,” Piper said, smiling as she pointed at the door.

“You tricked me,” he pouted. “That was a cheap trick.”

“And it worked,” Piper grinned, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and opening the unlocked door Spencer sighed as she greeted their realtor who had, by now, given up on trying to shake Spencer’s hand. He let out a breath, looking at the apartment. According to Graham, it had everything they were looking for. One of the walls had been turned into a floor to ceiling bookshelf, linking the bottom of the loft to the bedroom upstairs.

“We could probably fit all our books in there, right?” Spencer asked, his mind quickly calculating the total area of the shelf and mentally fitting their books in, but Piper had already moved to the guest bedroom in the corner.

“This room would be perfect for your mom,” she said, smiling brightly, oblivious to Spencer’s slackened face as her fingers pushed open the double doors with panelled glass. His calculations flew out of the window as he turned to see his girlfriend surveying the room. He’d never even thought about guests, too busy trying to find the perfect place for them. 

Piper was thinking of the near future. She knew Spencer loved his mom and she loved Diana too. The doors didn’t have locks on them so there was no possibility of her accidentally locking herself in and they were glass-panelled so they could keep an eye on her and she wouldn’t panic. There was plenty of room for Diana’s books too, with bookshelves on either end of the doors. Piper chewed her lip, imagining the setup, a nice armchair and a plush bed. Diana could live here comfortably with them and in her focus, she didn’t notice the soft look Spencer gave her from the centre of the loft. 

She was right, he thought, placing each hand in his pocket as he joined her in the small room. His arm wrapped around her waist and he felt her gentle hand slide around him and with her in his arms, he saw their future unfold in this room. Piper reading to his mother in this room, swapping stories about Spencer, just as she had years ago when they had first met. He barely saw the real Piper staring at him, snapping her fingers to get him to pay attention. “You really are tired, aren’t you?” Piper asked, pressing a small kiss to his nose before drawing away from him to listen to Graham.

“The kitchen’s already got an island, like the previous loft and multiple bathrooms.” Graham trailed on, Piper clinging to each word while watching Spencer walk around the loft. His long fingers trailed along the enormous bookcase, a rich oak colour and for a reason that he couldn’t quite place, he almost imagined pregnancy and children’s books stacked between his dystopic fiction and her romantic poetry.

He chewed his lip, leaning back against the rail of the staircase as his gaze shifted to the reading nook that was built into one of the windows. Whoever lived here before them had taste. And now he couldn’t get the image out of his head. Piper leaning against the pillows with their child on her lap, reading to a giggling baby. He wouldn’t be particularly surprised if she would pick some form of beautiful poetry or ballad to read to their son or daughter. Spencer’s gaze became hazy, seeing their future unfold in this house, only snapping to attention when Graham mentioned the price. Piper whistled softly, “That’s pretty low, should we be concerned?”

“Not at all, structurally the loft is completely safe. There was a check only a week ago. There’s only one hitch.”

“What?” Spencer asked instantly, pricking up Piper’s ears as she peers at him curiously.

“There was a murder here,” Graham blurted out quickly, his voice reaching a high octave.

“How long ago?” Spencer asked, sharing a look with Piper.

“It’s been 3 years and security’s tighter than ever,” Graham reassured them. “They installed a brand new one right after, nothing’s happened since.” Piper took a deep breath, then let it out, surveying the house.

“It’s a nice place,” Piper said. “What do you think?”

“It’s not like we don’t live with the threat of murder every day,” Spencer scoffed, and Graham excused himself, giving them a moment to talk. Piper chewed on her lip slowly, considering everything.

“I could get Garcia to look into the murder, see if the killer’s still out there?” Piper asked, and Spencer nodded, his gaze still distant, focusing on his vision of their future. He brought his attention back as Piper clasped his hand. “If you don’t like it, say the word and I’ll--”

“No!” Spencer cried out, catching Piper by surprise. “I mean, Graham’s right, this place is...nice. I just think we should be slightly concerned that a man died here.”

“Statistically, it was probably a woman,” Piper corrected him with a smile. Spencer huffed a laugh, pulling her into a hug.

“I just don’t think we should rush into this.” She snorted, casting her glance up to meet his gaze.

“Spence, you almost died of Anthrax before confessing your everlasting love for me--”

“I don’t remember it going quite like that.”

“I almost died before you asked if I would move in with you and technically, we  _ still _ haven’t actually moved in together.” Spencer’s brow furrowed and Piper had to slightly tilt her head up to meet his gaze. “It’s sort of a ‘one foot in, one foot out the door’ situation.”

“Touché,” he grumbled.

“Look, I love you, and I just want you to be happy so if this isn’t it, I will hunt houses all over DC. I will force people out of their homes to make you happy-” Spencer laughed warmly at the idea-“so if you don’t like it, just say the word.” Spencer nodded slowly, looking around the large flat, doing the math in his head. It was affordable, spacious, with a guest bedroom. 

“We should probably look into the murder first,” Spencer said, lacing his hand into hers.

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Piper agreed. “He might come back to the scene of the crime and I’m not ready for another near-death experience.” Spencer chuckled softly. “Maybe next week.”

“Can we please go home now?” he pleaded and Piper snickered, gesturing at the loft they stood in.

“We are.”

“You’re hilarious,” he deadpanned and Piper pulled him with a chuckle, planting a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Big baby,” she murmured happily.

* * *

Derek and Will stood outside the loft apartment door, tilting their heads as they mentally tried to do the math, staring at the maroon couch covered in plastic. “Maybe we could take the door off its hinges?” Will asked. “I saw a drill in your truck.”

Piper came over, her brow furrowed at the two blank gentlemen. “What are you doing?”

“It won’t fit,” Derek said, gesturing to the couch, the arm of it just inches wider than the door.

“No, it should fit perfectly,” Piper said. “I looked up the dimensions. Can’t you just...flip it or something?”

“Yeah, but then the pizza would slide off,” Will retorted, giving Piper a blank look. 

“You...you put pizza on my couch?” Piper looked over and there they were; seven stacked boxes of pizza. “I’m surrounded by idiots,” she muttered, grabbing the boxes and handing them to JJ. “You’re dating an idiot,” she informed her.

“I’m aware,” the blonde countered easily, grasping the pizzas as Henry ran over to Piper gleefully.

“Oh no, young man, you are going to get hurt,” Piper said, lifting the 3-year-old easily and he watched his daddy and uncle Derek tilt the sofa and drag it into the loft. The duo pulled it through the hallway and Will stood up, cheerfully holding his arms out for his baby boy. Spencer and David took over, positioning the couch in the centre of the living room while Penelope played with Jack’s Lego set. Jack, on the other hand, was peeking into the pizza boxes from his seat on the counter, which Piper caught. “Jack, did you wash your hands?” He nodded vigorously. “Let me smell them,” she ordered, and he complied, making her smile as she took a short sniff. “Alright, let me grab you a plate and you can have a slice, kay?”

“Thanks, Aunt Piper,” he said, smiling as he slid off the island and onto the bar stool.

“Careful, Jack,” Aaron cautioned from his own precarious position on a step ladder. He was busy drilling a guitar rack onto the wall for Piper. Which he wasn’t supposed to be doing.

“You too, Dad,” Jack said with a wide grin. 

“We aren’t too late to the party, are we?” Emily asked with Declan in tow.

“Woah, nice place, Pipes. I approve,” Declan announced with a smile. He was getting taller now, probably about Penelope’s height. Piper held her hand out for a low five and he smacked it.

“You hungry?” she asked him as Will approached with Henry.

“Starving,” Emily answered instead, making Declan laugh and she dived for the pizza. Henry smacked Emily’s hand lightly, making both Will and JJ laugh.

“Emmy no wash hands.”

“Damn it,” Emily grumbled.

“Damn it,” Henry repeated proudly and it was JJ’s turn to smack Emily’s arm.

“Stop it,” JJ said and Emily threw up her hands, moving to the kitchen sink.

“Stop it,” Henry repeated with a giggle.

“Smart little bugger isn’t he?” Piper said, chuckling.

“Well, he takes after his godfather, don’t he?” Will said with his usual drawl.

“Alright, please tell me we’re done,” David said.

“Why, does your back hurt?” Derek said, laughing easily.

“Derek,” Penelope scolded, looking up from the Lego car she was building. “You’re supposed to respect your elders.” Aaron laughed softly, getting down from the ladder.

“Very funny.” 

“There’s an armchair coming tomorrow, but the moving guys will take care of it,” Piper said. “But you all deserve pizza and drinks, on me.” The group moved in, surrounding the kitchen island, the pizza and the young couple, toasting with Cokes and Sprites, cheering as Spencer pressed a soft kiss to Piper’s hair.


End file.
